Back in the day my momma would go to K-Mart in October with $1 and put $400 worth of toys on Lay-A-Way for Christmas. Now when you go shopping, you've gotta have all the money up front or you can forget about it! As tough as the economy is right now, they need to reinstate lay-a-ways in stores across the country! Cause right now, if I want to buy some bread, I can only put 50-cents on it until I get paid Friday!   more »

Has this ever happened to you? You're dressed and ready for a morning on the town but then, you hear your baby grunting, you think "Oh, its just gas!" So you shrug it off until you hear a timer buzz and you realize your toddler has just baked a chocolate two layer cake in his diaper.   more »

OK, so I'm a little "overprotective" when it comes to my husband... I won't even let my momma use the restroom at my house--ain't no woman taking off her pants at my address--except ME! I don't want no "accidents" happening 'cause somebody was bent over with their jeans around their ankles.   more »

Not because of Natural Causes either!!! It's because that is what she'll be doing when I kill her! I've always told her that she sleeps too hard and doesn't wake up easy. When she does wake up, she is as "loopy" as a crack head, high on Meth with an Exstacy chaser. And that leaves me to tend to our son Andrew--who had a real rough rollercoaster night last night!   more »

My husband says I have an "unhealthy obsession" with Oprah Winfrey! I don't think that's the case at all... I just wanna see her before I die... and if I gotta break into Harpo Studios to do it, then so be it!   more »

I ain't leaving to go on my trip for another two weeks and I'm already having anxiety attacks. It ain't the terrorists I'm worried about, it's the unskilled and untrained mechanics working for Northwest! Last time I was on a troubled plane, they fixed the wing with chewing gum, a pocket knife and some barbed-wire.   more »

I can't even feed my baby and buy him pampers because of these gas prices. They are through the roof! And nobody can explain the reason for the price jump... every little event causes an increase... Hurricane Katrina, the capture of Saddam Hussein; hell, when Destiny's Child broke up, gas prices jumped 20-cents!   more »

'cause you never know what's inside. Y'all know I live in Minnesota--the interracial couple capitol of the world!! The most shocking thing to me when I first got here was walking through the mall and seeing a white woman pushing a baby stroller with a little version of Wesley Snipes inside. Now that's a shock to the system!   more »

Shawn said he's tired of me blaming our son Andrew for my weight gain. He claims to have the answer as to why my clothes no longer fit: KRISPY KREME. He is guest blogging to tell you about my addiction to the flavorful donuts. (I'm telling y'all, it's like crack, I can't get enough of 'em! Perhaps they have a 12-step program somewhere.)   more »

A lot of folks don’t understand Lisa Nowack, the female astronaut who drove from Houston to Florida in a diaper to confront her boyfriend’s “other woman” in a fit of heated rage.  I do! I don’t think she’s crazy at all; in fact, she’s brilliant and I like her style.

I’m no rocket scientist, but like my girl Lisa, I’m a stalker. Shucks, I even wrote a book about it: "Crazy is as crazy does--a stalker's guide to catching and keeping your man (cause you really don't want him to go anywhere)".   more »

After a long day of shoveling 2-feet of snow, paying all the bills including the mortgage and working 10-hours without a lunch break, I told Shawn how much I appreciated him for being a good husband. His response? "Hell, I want a husband. I need somebody to help me out!"   more »

is like finding a needle in a haystack. I been on a scavenger hunt looking for my people... and the only one I could locate was Kevin Garnett. So I've quickly had to adapt to the "white folks" way of life...   more »

I’m typing with one hand, ’cause the other hand is holding an eight-ounce bottle of formula. My son Andrew doesn’t care about deadlines. I’m a stay-at-home mom and part-time comedian, but nothing humorous is going on right now - motherhood ain’t no joke. I ain’t had a bath in five days, can’t remember the last time I was able to brush my teeth, and my feet are so crusty, when I went to bed the other night, my husband Shawn thought I had on socks.   more »

The first (and last) fight I ever had was in third grade... a girl named Cripple Katherine with one wooden leg beat me into a coma. When I finally came to, my glasses were broken, teeth were missing and she slapped all the beeds off my braids.    more »

Just cause you got health insurance--doesn't mean hospitals ain't gonna get their cut! Having Andrew cost me more than $5,000 and I'm making payments--well apparently not fast enuf--cause my account got turned over to collections! And the credit who called my house is making a strong case for bringing back the electric chair!   more »

How is it that pet owners are buying expensive dog food and killing their pets? Seems to me like the more money you spend, the better quality dog-food you get! Shoots, I remember our dog "Foots"... we ain't never buy one bag of veterinarian approved pet food. He ate what we ate--collard greens, ham hocks, ox tails--he might have been the first dog in America with high blood pressure--but it ain't kill him.   more »