Sheletta

John Legend, Jr.

sheletta — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:23:00 -0600

Belated Emmy Photos

sheletta — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:43:00 -0600

Whitney says "Hell to the Nawllllll!!!"

sheletta — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 07:46:00 -0600

Whitney Houston says the rumors circulating online and in several newspapers across the country about her and Bobby Brown getting back together are bogus. I'm glad she ain't hooking up with that loser again. He pulled her from the top of the pop charts down to the gutter--and took all her money with him. Ain't nothing good came from that marriage except their daughter Bobbi Chris. Whitney, do like Forest Gump and run girl run...

Obama is picking his cabinet...

sheletta — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 07:00:00 -0600

and it's good to see his inner-circle shapin' up. But Barack is really missing out on some key appointments! He's looking at politicians and folks who have been in Washington--four-star generals and former governors. He's missing a segment of the population that can be tapped and used as a resource: poor folks! In these tight economic times, he needs to find someone who understands the needs of the common folks: Somebody who knows how to survive for a month off Raman noodles and Spam. And how did he miss selecting Joe Jackson (Michael nem daddy) as secretary of defense?

I love seeing images...

sheletta — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 05:00:00 -0600

of Barack Obama and his wife and chil'len on television and on the cover of magazines. They are a beautiful family and they make me proud to black. Images of their family are a welcome sight for 'us', especially since before now, our kids had role models like Flava Flav and crazy a$$ed Omorosa (from The Apprentice).

But is there too much Obama mania going on? I was on the phone the other day with my best friend Christopher and he was like "Girl Barack Obama is everywhere."

Chris was in the airport going from Arkansas to Houston to visit family for the holidays, and he told me "Girl, I'm at the newsstand and every magazine got Barack on the cover. He's on Ladies Home Journal and even on the Gay Pride Magazine holding a flag, he's everywhere."

I jokingly told him, "Yeah, I was at Sally Beauty Supply earlier this week and saw Barack on the cover of both Black Hair Magazine and the box of perm I was buying to put on my hair."

We both busted out laughing when Chris said, "Before long, folks gonna be decorating their whole houses with Barack stuff. You'll go in the restroom and they'll be Barack on a toilet seat cover, smiling back at you. How you gonna take a crap on the President?"

What kind of customer service...

sheletta — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:46:00 -0600

did folks expect at 3 in the morning at Walmart and Target stores across the country? The folks who work at these stores are half asleep on a regular day, so they were walking zombies this morning when shoppers ran down the aisle with empty baskets and empty pocket books to boot. Plus that, it's all a sham, Walmart advertises these big clearance items, then when you go in the store, they ain't got but 5 of the $100 television sets you saw on the commercial. Yeah, my dad found out the hard way this morning, Walmart spent $1 million on advertising to make him think they had 1 million of these televisions in stock...

Beyonce and Sasha Fierce...

sheletta — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 07:29:00 -0600

are #1 on Billboard Album sales charts. Apparently she sold 482,000 units in the first week. If she sold that amount, there must be at least 1 million STOLE! I know we downloaded my friend Jenny's CD, and Jenny said at least three or four other people burned copies. Man, with the new technology out these days--I'm surprised that she sold THAT many units. And hell, in this recession, I'm bout to make dubs of the dub I got and hand 'em out as stocking stuffers!

I have a lot to be thankful for...

sheletta — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:04:00 -0600

on this Thanksgiving day. My husband hasn't left me, despite my debt and weight gain. My son is healthy. My mother-in-law is at her own damned house for Thanksgiving (and not mine). So I'd say that I'm blessed. But the person who has the most to be thankful for is Lois Feldman. The 39 year old Iowa woman was caught having sex in a public restroom in Minnesota last weekend with a 20 year old guy she didn't know. She was arrested and released to the custody of HER HUSBAND! The fact that Lois ain't dead and still breathing (on her own--not out of a tube) is amazing to me. Thanksgiving should be an especially grateful time for her, cause she's lucky to be alive today. I ain't an advocate for whooping your wife's a$$, but in this case, her husband should get a pass...

"Letta Loves Cool James--LL Cool J"

sheletta — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:00:00 -0600

I felt so sorry...

sheletta — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0600

for Mike Vick yesterday when he went to court on state dog fighting charges. He plead guilty and got a three year suspended sentence. He was once the highest paid player in the NFL, now he's bankrupt and in jail. Say what you want, but "The Man" is still alive and well and he's doing a number on our men. Step lightly brothers, cause otherwise, The Man might be knocking on your door soon. Just ask Mike Vick or OJ, he ain't NO JOKE...

OK, those Honey Baked Ham folks are out of control...

sheletta — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 06:20:00 -0600

I called to find out how much a ham would be this Thanksgiving and those jokers told me in upwards of $50! Do the Honey Baked Ham folks NOT know that we're going through a recession? They'd better start selling us these pigs wholesale. Is there beef in these pigs? Why are they so darned expensive? I called to talk to my friend Kim in Atlanta about it and she weighed in on the HBH situation along with other atrocities that are taking place this holiday season...

R.I.P. Mc Breed...

sheletta — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:27:00 -0600

It was the summer of 1991 when my best friend Audrey and I were dancing our hearts out at club Jamaica Jamaica in Houston to rapper MC Breed's "Ain't no future in your frontin'..."! That was our jam. When we heard it, we'd dance and sweat until our perms turned into dreds! Well now, the rapper who penned that summer anthem is gone on to be with Jesus and James Brown. MC Breed died yesterday at 37 years old from kidney failure. Bless his heart...

Have you guys...

sheletta — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 06:14:00 -0600

tried to use the Macy's coupons that they mail out every week in their circulars? The damn thing has more exclusions on it than a bad prom date! I tried to do a little "holiday shopping" thinking I was going to get a discount, until I got to the register and realized there was a "flip" side to my coupon--it was NOT valid for house wares, men's wear, women's wear, shoes, under wear, kitchen utensils, baby clothes, children's clothes, Christmas decorations and a partridge in a pear tree. The only thing I can do with Macy's coupons is wipe my a$$! And then it's not even two-ply!

Did y'all see the American Music awards...

sheletta — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 10:00:00 -0600

last night? Either music ain't what it used to be or they're letting anybody be a "star" these days. I watched Ne Yo's performance last night and thought to myself "Usher must be at home mad as hell that these young guys have completely stolen his style and are using it to sell millions of albums!" Beyonce was off the hook with "Put a ring on it"! That girl is the new Dianna Ross. But besides her, they kept giving awards to folks like Chris Brown and Rhianna--neither of 'em can sing a lick. Rhianna won in the same category that Aretha Franklin won (Best R&B female) back in the 1970s. Are you telling me Rhianna got the same vocals as Aretha? We just settle for anything these days...

Shawn's Sunday Thought...

Shawn — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 07:13:00 -0600

I’ve heard of Beautiful but Deadly. I’ve even heard of Beautiful but Dumb. But never in my life have I heard of Beautiful but Wind Blown!!!

So I’m walking through the family room the other day and my dear beloved son Andrew is sitting in his chair eating “Sasha Meat” (Sausage) and watching VH1 videos. On the screen is the great Beyonce’ belting out a ballad. The screen shot shows a close up of her face which is flawless. Pretty white teeth, smooth skin, and expertly applied make up. The only thing she was missing was a fake beauty mark near her mouth, but that is so “80’s” and beneath Ms. Thang.

The camera pulls away to a full body shot and there is more beauty to observe. Her gown is absolutely stunning as is gently caresses her well toned curves. The girl must work out for 6 hours a day. Then I notice that she is on stage and there must have been Tsunami, Tropical Storm, Hurricane, and Tornado force winds whipping around on stage because her hair was all over her head. I’ve never seen weave blown quite like this. Normally you put a weave in place and it’s there to stay. But not this one!

My question is simple, when did Wind Blown become such a popular look? I believe it is a look that is only bestowed upon the greatest of Diva’s. Everyone from Diana Ross, to Tina Turner, to Mariah Carey, to Beyonce’ seems to have “crossed over” to the Beautiful but Wind Blown status. I had no idea that having a raggedy head could be considered sexy. You never saw Gladys Knight, Aretha Franklin, or Mavis Staples running around onstage with a raggedy head! Nope, they put that hot press & curl to that head, hit it with a burst of Afro-Sheen and that “do” would be in place until it met a shampoo bowl. It could be me, but I long for the simple days of a well coiffed hairdo that will hold up under extreme conditions.

Andrew makes it into the Star Tribune!

sheletta — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:54:00 -0600

Remember the blog from last week about me re-naming Andrew to Michigan J. Frog? Cause he straight up clowned me in front of John Legend! Well, Star Tribune gossip columnist CJ read it on the website and thought it was funny as hell. Er'rebody except me thinks the story is funny. Apparently Ms. Thang talked to her editors and they decided to do a story on how my two year old son acted a fool in front of the Grammy winning R&B superstar!

Let me just tell y'all something 'bout Ms. CJ, she is a hard pill to swallow. She's great with kids, my two year old son fell in love with her. But with adults, girlfriend ain't got the same charm. We were in the beauty shop during the interview while she was taking some video of Andrew and the two of us were 'bout to fight. The owner of the salon was gonna call the cops. I swear, if I knew how to fight, I would have challenged her. But y'all know I got beat up in 3rd grade by a cripple girl--so I ain't wanna take a chance on getting my wig split.

Read the article about Andrew here and there is some video to go with it.

You know I'm getting fat...

sheletta — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:55:00 -0600

when I gotta buy all new winter coats. The damn coats I had from winter last season are fitting me like a girdle. They're tighter than pantie hoses two sizes too small. I had a lovely black dress coat that I wore to church on Sundays, I put it on this past Sunday and damn near chopped myself in half. Then there was my casual coat that I wore out to dinner with my husband or to play dates in Woodbury (where they require a dress code), but the buttons wouldn't even meet. It was like they were at war with each other. I tried, as hard as I could to get 'em to connect, but they wouldn't even talk! The yard coat wouldn't zip and the leather jacket was so tight around my arms, my fingers went to sleep. I damn near had a car accident try to drive to the grocery store--fingers just went numb!

And just as fate would have it, this Sunday we visited a church that had a coat drive going on. Which forced me to come to terms with the fact that none of the cute coats I had in my closet actually fit. This was the Lord's way of telling me I needed to give 'em away to someone who was more needy and a lot more thinner than I am.

Now that the winter months are upon us in Minnesota and the snow is falling, my fat a$$ has one big purple coat to put on. Whether I'm decked out in a Jones New York suit or sweats, I got one purple Columbia coat that I found on sale at the Albertville Outlet a few weeks back. Whether I'm dressed to the nines or wearing a pair of jeans, I look like I'm getting ready to go skiing or down hill sledding! Actually, if I turn to the side, I look like Barney! If I stood in the middle of the street and stated singing, kids would run out to join me--start singing along--and dancing!

I should probably go back to the coat drive and see if any former Lane Bryant shoppers treated themselves to a gastric bypass surgery recently. Cause they might have left behind really nice winter coats in a size 14 or 16 that I could wear...

Denzel and Sam Jackson...

sheletta — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:21:00 -0600

are fighting in real life! It's actually a property dispute about the gated community they live in in Suothern California. Apparently Denzel don't want Sam Jackson to use the private road near his house. But that makes Sam's servers and nannies and gardners have to take a detour to get to his house and that makes them late for work. Child, Sam is hot under the collar. In a real fight, who'd win? Denzel or Sam???

Is it Christmas already?

sheletta — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 07:17:00 -0600

OK, I don't go shopping much, but since I got a real fancy husband, I find myself in the mall running errands for him. Picking up anything from cologne to winter gloves. So anyway, he's out of his favorite fragrance, so I thought I'd stop by the mall yesterday to pick him up another bottle.

Well, low and behold, without checking the calendar for accuracy, the shopping malls have declared it's Christmas already. They've skipped over thanksgiving all together. Santa Claus done already flew in from the North Pole with his little helpers to take $25 photographs with all the boys and girls (I had my camera and asked if I could slip him a $5 and take my own damned picture, but he said they were "watching" and wouldn't let us get our hustle on). There are Christmas trees in every store, in the case of Macy's, they have about 10 of 'em on each floor. They have decked all the halls with bells of holly... fa la la la la, la la la la! Baby, it's Christmas time according to Maplewood Mall, so put the turkey on hold and freeze the oven, cause Thanksgiving doesn't even exist to them.

I looked around, just for fun, to see if I'd run across any Thanksgiving decorations, of course, there were none to be found. Not even ONE damned turkey gobbling at all.

I asked one sales lady how long the Christmas decorations had been up in her store, and she said since Halloween. What the hell? Since October? By the time December 25th comes, you'll be worn out and forget the true meaning of the holiday season.

We're trying to teach Andrew about Jesus' birth--which is really the real reason we celebrate the holiday. So he wanted to know who the fat white dude was with the beard and what all the trees were about.

Not only have these stores commercialized Christmas, they do it two months before the holiday actually takes place. I don't know about you, but I was pretty put off by all the excess and them trying to get me to "buy buy buy". Cause I tell you what, say what you will, it's an effective marketing strategy. Here I was, just ready to buy cologne, I done got Christmas gifts for my damn nieces, my nephew, my momma, my daddy and Andrew's god-fathers. A full week before Thanksgiving...

Being a little ghetto in the beauty shop...

sheletta — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:24:00 -0600

Don't it just piss you off...

sheletta — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:59:00 -0600

when you go to fill up your car, cause gas is $1.81 and you think you're getting a "deal", but then you pass that same gas station the next day, the price is down to $1.79?

That chaps my hide and it happened to me earlier this week! I went to get gas at the Holiday Gas Station on Mounds in St. Paul. This station is known for having cheap gas--you pull up and it looks like the parking lot at the club. Hell, Shawn and I even call it "Club Holiday"! You gotta wait for a spot at the pump!

I called Shawn the other day to brag "Yeah, I'm filling up for $1.81!" He was jealous cause he had paid $1.89 a few days earlier in Woodbury. So I felt like I got a good deal. But then a few days later, I passed by my favorite gas station and the damn price was down a few pennies. What the hell?

In any other industry, if you buy something, and the price goes down within two weeks, you can come back and get the difference! Hell, back when my fat ass was able to shop at Express, if they offered a sale price on something I had recently purchased, I was notorious for going back with my receipt and saying "Hey, take that damn $5 off my card. It's on sale now and I want my mo-fo-ing money back!"

And I got good with the folks at The Limited, the sales associates would warn me "Don't buy that now, it's going on sale next week. Come back then!"

Why can't the gas stations be like that? When they see me filling up, call out on the intercom and say "Hey, you, black girl on pump 5, come back tomorrow, you'll be able to save 50-cent then." Or how about when I DO fill up and then they drop the prices... let me come back with my receipt, bring in my proof-of-purchase and let me get the difference back in cash. And if they can't give me the actual cash back, how 'bout give me a free cup of that nasty a$$ coffee. That's what we should put in our cars, that nasty black oil they're selling as coffee. If that doesn't clean your engine and your colon, nothing else will...

Beyonce's new double album is out today!!

sheletta — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:44:00 -0600

She's got one album with regular Beyonce tracks, a few dance tunes, a few love songs, probably a guest appearance or two by a big name act like Mary J Blige or Jay Z! Then there is an album dedicated to her alter ego Sasha Fierce and it's supposed to be wild and daring! Even her split hersonality is making money! I need to get the five people living inside of me to start working other jobs and getting a check, then I can start paying off all my bad debt!

I'm renaming my son Michigan J Frog...

sheletta — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:44:00 -0600

Y'all know who Michigan J Frog is don't you? He's the frog that could talk better than you and me, AND sing and tap dance like Sammy Davis, Jr., but when folks would come around, he'd revert back to being a frog and all he could get out was "ribbit ribbit". His owner knew he could talk, the damn frog knew he could talk! And when the frog's owner would try to "show him off" to folks, he'd just make him shame every time and not say a word, not even one little tap dance routine--wouldn't even hum a tune!

Well, that was Andrew last night at the John Legend sound check!

So Johnny Legend is in town for a concert at Northrop Auditorium tonight at University of Minnesota, and me, Shawn and Andrew got invited to a special sneak preview of the performance. He and his band got together last night to rehearse, and the folks who were promoting his year long tour asked us if we wanted to come along and get an interview after wards. Of course, we jumped at the chance.

Now I don't know if y'all know this but Andrew is a true die hard John Legend fan. We have John's first CD Get Lifted in the car, in the house, both upstairs and down, on all three computers and in the baby room. That boys loves the songs and can sing along to every one. All you have to say is "Andrew sing John Legend" and on the drop of a dime, he starts swaying and singing the lyrics--and you can actually understand them. He can pick John Legend out of a photo line up and knows the videos by heart!

During the dress rehearsal last night, we were sitting in the front row and Andrew was standing in his seat, singing, clapping, calling out John's name like they were cousins and pointing saying "Mom, that's John Legend!"

"Yes baby," I replied, "that's John Legend. When you meet him, you'll sing for him, right?"

"Yeah momma," he assured me at the tender age of 2, "I'm gonna sing holla holla for him."

My son went back on his word.

After the thrilling front row performance, Andrew Shawn and I went to the dressing room downstairs in the basement of the auditorium to meet John and do our one-on-one. On the way down, we bumped into the back ground singers who had seen Andrew singing and dancing during the concert. One of the ladies said to him, "Hey cutie, I saw you singing. Do you know John Legend's songs?"

And I said "Andrew, sing holla holla."

I was so proud when my baby belted out his best, "Holla, holla, holla. Maybe it's me, maybe I bore you!"

The background singers were all amazed and wanted to see his birth certificate to make sure he was only two years old. They rushed us down so John Legend could hear Andrew cutting up. They had even started calling Andrew "JL, Junior".

Now I'm walking back to meet John, chest all stuck out, proud that my baby boy is going to amaze him with his rendition of his famous tune. I'm thinking they can go on tour together and even do a duet children's song together for babies! We get in the green room, the background singers are talk Andrew up, John Legend gives him a high five, Andrew opens his mouth and says "Mommy, I gotta poopy!"

Andrew might as well had said "ribbit ribbit"!!!!

Did y'all hear the story?

sheletta — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:22:00 -0600

Did you hear the story that Puff Daddy, Diddy, also known as er'rebody's baby's daddy under the age of 4, said to Allure Magazine. The brother said that he gets a Brazilian wax! And he gets his legs and arm pits waxed too! I done heard it all! What kind of man raises his "business" up so somebody can take hot wax and remove all his--I ain't got to go no further--you get the picture. I wonder which one of Diddy's boyfriend's is in the lobby holding his man-bag while he gets his wax treatment at the spa. 'Cause that sure is some girly $hit...

Hanging with John Legend Back in 2005

sheletta — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:03:00 -0600

Prince is in court more than Bobby Brown...

sheletta — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:19:00 -0600

The folks who made Prince's perfume "3121" are pissed off and are taking the Purple One to court. Apparently ain't nobody buying the funky fragrance and now the manufacturers are saying Prince did little to help them promote the product line. So they filed a breach-of-contract lawsuit. They should have known this perfume wasn't gonna fly. What woman in her right mind wants to smell like a man who looks and dresses like a woman? I wanna know if I can get in on the lawsuit, hell I bought it and attracted nothing but transvestites and gay guys who didn't know they were gay!

I thought Andrew...

sheletta — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:01:00 -0600

was going to be the next John Legend! At two years old my baby loves banging on the piano and singing. And he ain't shy about it. Anytime he sees a piano, he sits down and plays the keys and sings! So I thought "If I get him in lessons now at two years old, he'll be like ready for the Grammys by the time he turns 12!" NOT! Needless to say I done been taken to the cleaners by a broke a$$ piano teacher who promised he could teach my two year old how to read music. I don't know why I believed him, cause Andrew can't read English yet! We ain't got past the letter "G" with the alphabets...

I'm bout ready to fight somebody...

sheletta — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 04:29:00 -0600

So y'all know our television went out last Wednesday. We bought the $1,200 flat screen Panasonic from Circuit City less than five years ago. Last week, we turned it on, and I thought I had started doing acid again. The color was distorted, the pictures were jumping around all over the place and the cartoon characters looked like they were having sex! I knew Dora and Diego didn't get down like that, so I called the Cable Company to send someone out to take a look at the problem. They did a little trouble shooting over the phone with Shawn and we soon learned that it wasn't the cable, it was the damned television!

How could that be possible? I mean, we just finished paying the mo-fo off a few months ago and NOW it just decides to start acting up on us? And it's a Panasonic for goodness sake! It ain't that old either. The television I had in college was a Sharp. It had everything from cigarette burns on the top to Heineken top bottles that fell in through the holes in the back and got stuck--and it lasted for at least 14, 15 years. Never needed repair once. Hell, Shawn's college television was an Admiral. Who ever heard of that brand? And he gave that one away to his home boy when he got this big old damn 52 inch--and from what I can tell--his friend Reggie was watching the game this weekend while we were over here watching each other!

I missed the Thursday night basketball on TNT, Friday night basketball on TNT, Saturday morning cartoons and college football, Sunday football and Lord help us, I'm gonna be missing Monday night football too...

I don't even know what's going on in the world. Sara Palin could have slapped the hell out of Michelle Obama and I can't see the video cause we ain't got no damned TV.

Cause the repair guys came out last week, charged us $60 for just showing up, and the bastard didn't even have all the parts they needed. We told them over the phone what the problem was, what the make and model of the set was, and they come steppin' out here last Friday with the wrong parts. Can't come back until Tuesday to fix it, and of course, that'll be another $60 house call, along with the $300 it's going to take to repair it.

I told Shawn we should pull an "Al Bundy Move" on Circuit City. I remember watching an old episode of Married With Children where Al and Peg's air conditioning went out, and they hung out at the grocery store all day in the frozen food section to keep cool. Well, tonight for Monday Night Football, if you want some live entertainment, Shawn, Andrew and I will be in our lawn chairs at the Circuit City in Roseville where we bought the damn television. We're going to bring Andrew's play pin and put him some toys in there to keep him busy. Shawn and I are going to put our lounge chairs in front of the biggest color television we can find and camp out to watch the game. I'm going to fry a chicken and make a potato salad and we ain't leaving until the final buzzer. I plan on wearing my pajamas and a house coat--Shawn said he's just gonna put on sweats. Andrew is potty-training so we'll bring the potty too and put it right in the middle of electronics so when my baby has to "go" he can "handle his business"! That'll teach them to sell us a bogus television set!!!

Gabby Union Hosts ATL Gospel Contest...

sheletta — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 02:00:00 -0600