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WE MOVED AGAIN!!!

sheletta — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 09:21:00 -0600

WE DONE MOVED THE WEBSITE!!! But not to worry, you can still get your daily dose of Sheletta's funny humor every day at http://sheletta.ning.com/.

See y'all over there...

Did RNC Officials keep blacks out of the loop?

Justin — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 04:53:00 -0500

WEBMASTER WEDNESDAY: Dreams

Justin — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:00:00 -0500

Even if you won't admit it, you've got 'em. Those insane dreams that pull you outside your own body and make you wonder what the hell is going on in your own mind. Usually, I am late for something, falling from somewhere or somebody's chasing me. Oh yeah, and I am not wearing anything but tube socks. So, what does it mean?

Letta and Drew with FM107 at the State Fair

sheletta — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:50:00 -0500

New intro for CrossRoads Television Program

sheletta — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:27:00 -0500

WEBMASTER WEDNESDAY: Stalker tools

Justin — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:00:00 -0500

As all her friends and family know, Sheletta is Grade-A, FBI-trained stalker. She followed Shawn all the way here from Texas without him knowing. But she didn't need to, she could've done it from her computer!

WEBMASTER WEDNESDAY returns

Justin — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:08:00 -0500

Ok, so I'll return to my regular weekly posts with a confession that only my closest friends know about me. It's embarrassing, something most guys won't admit. But, as with most personal problems I found salvation on the Internet...

I'm gonna get that gastric bypass...

sheletta — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:23:00 -0500

I made that decision yesterday after reading People Magazine. This young lady was getting ready for her wedding and she wanted to loose weight FAST. To hell with exercising and diet pills and eating less--SURGERY IS THE KEY! She lost two dress sizes in two weeks. Now that's what I'm talking about. Instant results. After I get out of my maternity panties and back into my regular underwear, I'm gonna need them to undo the process...

OJ Simpson is back in the news...

sheletta — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 18:04:00 -0500

Y'alll know they have tumped up these bogus charges on "The Juice", right? Talking about armed robbery and kidnapping--except nobody was shot, he didn't have a gun and nothing was stolen. OJ needs better friends, because somebody should have told him to "pass" on this madness!

My husband thinks...

sheletta — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 04:00:00 -0500

there should be a "Lemon Law" that applies to wives after you marry them. He said when he signed the "paperwork", I sold him a bill of goods. I had wonderful body-work: pretty face, charming, tight butt and abs. But soon after the nuptials were over, he decided to check under the hood and found out my credit was bad, my feet stank and I had hair on my chest. He said he wants to start legislation so that all men who get married are allowed a 30 day trial and if their beautiful bride turns out to be a lemon, you can return her for a refund, or a better model...

Don't forget...

sheletta — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:42:00 -0500

about our weekly soap opera As The Down Low Brother Turns! It updates every Thursday right here on Sheletta.com and has more twists and turns than big momma's Sunday stockings! So check out all the action of Richard Clarkson in his quest to lead a double lifestyle by clicking here or go to the left hand side of the page and scroll down to the "Down Low Brother Soap Opera" tagline.

Bridge collapse one year later...

sheletta — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:36:00 -0500

Later on today, I'll make you laugh--I promise! But now, I want to reflect on last year's tragedy of the I35 Bridge collapse that happened in Minneapolis and killed a dozen people. I remember it almost like a bad dream of sorts--it was no nightmare--it was real life. But the spirit of those rescue workers and every day people who risked their lives to save others was remarkable! On August 1st, last year, I thought about how precious life is and how we should all be grateful for it.

Obama VS. Hip Hop...

sheletta — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:20:00 -0500

OK, so Ludacris has tried to help Barack Obama's campaign in the past by holding fundraisers and making donations, now he has written a diss record on Obama's behalf calling Hillary a bitch and rippin McCain a new one! Well Obama ain't having it. He's gotta put Luda in check like he did Bernie Mac a few weeks ago. He said Luda should be ashamed of his lyrics! Apparently, Obama ain't heard much rap music lately. Luda is tame by comparison...

Did y'all hear about...

sheletta — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 12:18:00 -0500

The House of Representatives issuing an apology to black folks for slavery? I just got wind of it and they can keep their damned apology, I want my 40 acres and my mule that was promised to my great-great-great-great grandmother for the half century she picked cotton in the hot Texas sun and never got paid for it (we ain't gonna mention the ass whoopings she endured, the children that were sold off, or repeated sexual assault that was never prosecuted) ! If they ain't got my acres and my ass, I'll settle for three mortgage payments and a full tank of gas! For everything she went through, that's the LEAST the government can do!!!

OK, so I'm trying to keep up...

sheletta — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 06:00:00 -0500

with the two year olds in my play group who have private tutors! These kids are sharp--I'm talking they are doing fractions and reading chapter books. So yesterday, I decided to try and teach Andrew who his world leaders were. He knows Barack Obama, John McCain and George W. Bush. I should have left it there, I pushed my baby to the limits when I tried to teah him who Condaleeza Rice was. It was especially hard for him to keep it all straight while he was eating smothered pork chops, rice and okra. Now, when you ask my two year old who the Secretary of State is, his response is "Rice and Gravy"!

Uncle Kathy Knows Best...

UncleKathy — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:52:00 -0500

Keith, I hope you're keeping track, because this is Uncle Kathy's third (3rd) week in a row making sure I complete my advice column. This will be the first time since I moved to Baltimore that I can actually put in an invoice for a full month's check for this freelance writing job.

These young artists...

sheletta — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:33:00 -0500

got money coming in from all sides. Chris Brown and Ne-Yo have both been paid out the wazoo to do ads with Big Red gum and Juicy Fruit! They'll be singing and tap dancing and eating watermelon! Just joking! I know somebody is gonna call these young brothers "sell outs", but actually they are smarter little marketers. And fine as hell. I swear, I just found out what a "cougar" was, and that little Chris Brown can dance on top my living room table without a shirt any day...

TUESDAY'S Blast from the past...

sheletta — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 05:00:00 -0500

If you don't learn from your mistakes, you're doomed to repeat them. That's what happened to me last week when I went to Estetica Salon in St. Paul for an eyebrow wax. Over the phone, the receptionist told me I'd be seeing "Ann Marie"--which was great--cause she was voted best "eyebrow waxer" by City Pages Magazine. They failed to mention the salon charges DOUBLE for her services. Let's just say each eye was more than $20! Something similar happened to me in February of 2007, and I wrote about it in a blog called "Check the menu before selecting an item"...

To Stand or not to stand...

sheletta — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:31:00 -0500

that was the question posed to a room full of journalists in Chicago this weekend at the Unity Conference. Barack Obama was coming to speak to us as part of Wolf Blitzer's show on CNN. The live broadcast fielded audience member's questions as well as the two hosts of the program. Well, when he came out to take the stage--everyone stood up to clap--and apparently--we were taken to task for that. Funny, we did the same EXACT thing four years ago when W. came to speak at the conference--and nobody said a damn thing about it...

Halle Berry got ugly...

sheletta — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 07:53:00 -0500

and y'all know that's hard for girlfriend to do cause she's beautiful! But she is pissed at the paparazzi for sneaking on her property to take photos of her daughter. She should move to Texas, because when somebody comes to your house, unannounced, you can shoot (to kill) first and ask questions later--and you won't be prosecuted. You would think the Terminator was the governor of the Lone Star State instead of California. The laws are much too friendly on the west coast...

When Shawn and I went shopping...

sheletta — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 05:00:00 -0500

last weekend before I left for Chi-Town (I still ain't seen R Kelly yet, I should probably hang out at Chuck E. Cheese), he bought me some new traveling clothing. A couple of pair of comfy knee-length shorts and plain t-shirts. We call it my "Uncle Kathy" attire! And I tell you what, the Lesbians ain't stopped hitting on me since I got here. I'm drawing them in like flies...

Sherri Shepherd is in trouble...

sheletta — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:35:00 -0500

for talking too much and about her BOSS! I'm hoping she really pisses Barbara Walters off so I can take her spot on that morning day time talk show. A sister like me needs some extra income (cause I'm bout to start cutting grass and picking up cans in the street to make ends meet). Apparently, Sherri told a religious magazine that she wishes there was some more Christian folks on The View so that they could "lay hands" on Barb and get her saved! I'm getting my resume together RIGHT NOW!!

These pigeons in Chicago think they are people...

sheletta — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 09:24:00 -0500

So I'm in Chicago doing a news story for my CrossRoads television show on Historically Black Travel and hanging out at a journalists of color conference. Walking up and down Michigan Avenue (looking for Oprah), I'm standing at the curb and a damned pigeon taps me on the shoulder and asks me "Hey, you got a light? I just bummed a smoke off this black guy but I don't have a lighter."

I'm leaving today for Chicago...

sheletta — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:28:00 -0500

on business, and you damn well better believe I ain't flying Northwest Airlines. Or any other air carrier for that matter. Never mind that the prices are through the roof, and they are now charging for everything from using the restroom on the plane to the first bag of checked luggage. Neither of those are behind my reasoning for hitting the road! I'd rather fly than drive because last time I flew, when I got home and unpacked my bags, all my valuables were missing and Shawn wound up wearing another man's t-shirts for two days. Damned thieving baggage attendants, I hope my fake pearls made their ears turn green!

Nobody has just "one roach"...

sheletta — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:02:00 -0500

in their house! There is usually a bunch of 'em cause they travel in "packs". Apparently, so do "outside women". Y'all remember the story about the Mayor of Detroit, brother named Kwame (no relation to the Polka dotted rapper from the 1990s) who got caught cheating on his wife with his Chief of Staff after he sent her explicit text messages on the city's celly? Well, she ain't his only mistress. This brother used the company phone to send nasty messages to more than a dozen sisters. Now his wife and his woman are pissed at him...

Uncle Kathy Knows Best...

UncleKathy — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:35:00 -0500

Uncle Kathy knows what you're thinking (Keith), you're saying to yourself, "Uncle Kathy isn't going to post a blog two weeks in a row!" Well, better late than never I always say. Actually, I'm not late for this week's advice column, I'm early for next week. How you like them apples?

THIS is why I don't watch television...

sheletta — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:00:00 -0500

So I find out Wendy Williams has her own talk show on Fox. That's one reason to stop watching television right there. Then I see she had Omarosa (from "The Apprentice") on her show--and these two talentless heffas got into a fight on camera in front of the audience. If they had any gifts at all, they'd be doing movies--you'd never see Jada or Angela Basset acting like this. 'Cause they got class! Just when Michelle Obama does everything to lift up the image of black women--these two jigga boos pull us back down in the gutter! (I can't even put a photo of either of those witches on my website--so enjoy this photo of a true strong sister and her mate!)

TUESDAY'S Blast from the past...

sheletta — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 06:37:00 -0500

So we were out at the park yesterday and they had those "diggers" the kids were playing on. Shawn busted out laughing and reminded me of something that happened to us in St. Paul last summer. When he told me, I ran home and pulled up the old blog to refresh my memory. It was funny as hell. Let's just say it involved me, him, Andrew, a little white kid and the "N" word...

How in the world...

sheletta — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:00:00 -0500

did Batman get to be so popular? The movie broke all kinds of box office records this weekend for taking home $152 million in ticket sales! Batman wasn't even the most popular super hero or the coolest of the Super Friends! If anybody asks me, Aqua Man should be getting all this praise. How cool is it when a dude can swim under water and talk to the fish? After him on the Super Friends cool factor was Wonder Woman. She had a magic laso that could make folks tell the truth. All women need one of those. Put it around your husband's waist and he just starts confessing "Honey, OK, so I did tongue kiss my secretary, but it was only once and her breath was bad"...

Take Time to Smell the Roses

sheletta — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 05:00:00 -0500