You know a wedding is out of line when one of the following takes place:

10.  When the ring bearer carries a sofa pillow to tote the ring down the aisle instead of the official silk pillow with the cute little ribbon on it.

9.  When you stuff your chubby plus sized ass friends into silk dresses designed for junior high school proms instead of a breathable fabric like cotton.

8.  Use songs from a mix tape CD to come down the aisle on instead of hiring a singer and a fairly competent pianist.

7.  You take up a love offering for the bride and groom.

6.  The first baby's daddy "gives away the bride" instead of her father. He's ready to get rid of them damned child support payments--plus--he knows how crazy this chick REALLY is so he's happy to push her off on someone else.

5. When anything anybody is wearing in the wedding is either spray painted or dyed at home and not by a professional.

4.  When the groom comes walking down the aisle to his favorite Tupac tune.

3.  When all the bridesmaids have tattoos on their neck that say things like "Baby doll", "Pussy Cat" or "Light and Sexy"--they also have pole numbers assigned at the Kitty Kat Club.

2.  When half the groomsmen are wearing ankle bracelets.

1.  When there are 32 people in the wedding and only 16 people in the pews at the church.  Might want to rethink the size of that wedding party, huh?