Since we're talking bout them Jackson's today, I did a little checking and found out Janet had to be rushed to the hospital in Canada right before her show started. She suddenly got sick right before it was time for her to get on stage. Childdddddddddd, she must have taken a real hard look at her ugly boyfriend Jermaine Dupree, that's enough to turn anybody's stomach...   more »

After Sheletta asked me to post the blast from the past, I couldn't resist the urge to bring back this moment at my house last year after dinner...

Y'all remember the college drop out was arrested last week at an LA airport saying he got into a scuffle with the paparazzo's camera? Well, it looks like the judge will let bye-gones-be-by-gones and sweep this one under the rug. They were talking about felony charges against Kanye and his manager. I say this: if you don't want someone to bust up your camera gear, be respectful and back-back 'bout 50 feet. Otherwise, you get busted upside the head...   more »

I know y'all all been there. A wedding that makes you feel like you're having an outter body experience 'cause it's so ghetto you can barely even believe it's taking place. You gotta pinch yourself to believe it's really going on and it's not a bad dream. The ring bearer is carrying a sofa coushin for a pillow, the groom comes walking down the aisle to the tune of his favorite Tupac song and the first baby daddy is giving the bride away. Lawd, somebody call the cops, cause half the wedding party is on parole...   more »

--WATCH THE KARE11 STORY ON BEREATHA
--WATCH THE WCCO STORY ON BEREATHA

My  husband is thinking about a lot these days, just ain't got time to put 'em all down on the website.  He's working extra hard on his friend's cancer fundraiser, he's the chairperson of his employer's United Way Campaign, he's working at his regular job and he's married to me.  I'm surprised he ain't took a long walk off a short pier. 

This morning we woke up late for church (really we did, we had every intention on going, but Andrew was up all night with a stuffy nose, so we just decided to let him sleep this morning when he finally went down for the night at 4 a.m.), so we came downstairs, turned on the television and started cooking breakfast.  Now y'all know we stopped watching TV when we realized that it was really an "idiot box" so the only time our little 2 year old gets to watch cartoons is on weekends.  And the ONLY thing he wants to see when that television screen is on is Happy Feet.  That boy knows that movie backward and forward.  I'm bout to sign him up for tap dancing lessons so he can be the next Savion Glover!

We have seen Happy Feet about fifty-leven times.  I see penguins in my sleep--I see them walking down the street--their spirits speak through me.  I wish I could burn that damn DVD, but I know it would cause  my 2 year old to go into a panic that only a child psychologist and intensive therapy could bring him out of.

After we finished breakfast, and the movie went off, Andrew turned to us and said "Mom, dad, I wanna watch Happy Feet."

I replied, "Son, aren't you tired of watching Happy Feet?  You have other movies, there are other cartoons on. Wouldn't you like to see another  movie?"

Shawn looked at both of us and said, "Welcome to my life.  I'm stuck with the same damn movie for the rest of my life The life and hard times of Sheletta Brundidge.  I'd like to see another movie sometimes, hell catch a matinee every once and a while. But no, it's the same movie, over and over again.  And the ending don't change!  Can I at least see previews of a movie (that ain't even come out yet)? I know I can't buy tickets to it! I just wanna look at it!  I ain't gonna tell the ending to anybody, I promise! I'd even settle for the Rocky Horror Picture Show..."

While I'm walking around most of the time looking like Ms. Celie from The Color Purple, my husband and son are sharp as a tack. Shawn is always the best dressed and most dapper man in the room no matter where he goes; and 2 year old Andrew has followed in his daddy's foot steps. While Shawn gets a weekly manicure, Andrew sits in his stroller and files his nails. And the boy won't get his hands dirty for anything, when he falls on the ground, his palms are always up in the air. He ain't touching no dirt and no mud!   more »

that damn Osama bin Laden! Is he the mo-fo that's making gas prices so damned high?  Cause if he's the cause, then I will find and handle him my own self. I don't need no military assistance--no black hawk helicopters--no video surveillance--NOTHING! I don't even need a map of the cave where he lives! His ass has got to be destroyed.

And why can't they find him anyway? All the millions and trillions of dollars we are spending--and nobody knows where he is? He ain't got no cousins or nothing that can show us where he is? And roll over on him? There is always one cousin willin' to "tell it" on folks.  And if we can't find a family member, how bout we just look for the damn video crew? Cause every three months or so, he comes out with a video!  He has more videos than Puffy or Mary J Blige.  Look for the producers, the video trucks, the satellite trucks, the cables, the big production lights--and he shouldn't be hard to spot.  He's filming all the time and somehow, we seem to miss the date each and every time...

I'm walking around yesterday, feeling all good cause I got $50 in my pocket.  Andrew and I are running errands and hanging out--doing our thing that we do.  Then, 'bout an hour or so into our rippin-and-running, I realize that we ain't got no gas.  I look around and see that gas at the BP station in Woodbury is $3.49 (SIDE NOTE: Why is gas always cheaper at the gas stations in the white neighborhoods where people have enough money to pay more--and more expensive in the projects where folks is barely getting by?), so I think I'm getting a deal at $3.49 (ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: I remember when gas was a little over a dollar a gallon, and that was for PREMIUM GAS.  Ain't that a bitch? The oil industry has us thinking $3.49 is a damn deal!  We think that's cheap. In fact, we're calling folks saying "Hey girl, the gas is $3.49 in Woodbury where the white folks live.  Be sure when you get off from work to fill up."  But just a few years ago gas was $1.23 for super unleaded.  We ain't talking about a generation ago or two generations ago, we talkin' 'bout back in 2000.  Ain't nothing, including the cost of crude, appreciated in value that much!)

OK, back to my story, so I'm riding around with $50 in my pocket feeling like a million bucks, but I'm only worth $50 and I stop at the gas station to fill up.  I got a small tank, only holds about 10 gallons or so.  I get out of the car all proud, start filling up the car (LAST SIDE NOTE: They still let you fill up before you pay in white neighborhoods, had I known that, this story would have a happier ending.).  The gas is going and the price is climbing.  I see the dollar amount rising and my head starts hurting--the room gets dark--and I believe I blacked out.  FORTY-FUC)(*NG DOLLARS!  A 1990-something Nissan Sentra that ain't worth two buffalo nickles just cost me FORTY FUC*)&ING DOLLARS to fill up.  Not just $40, but $42!  The fifty-dollar bill that I had in my pocket just jumped out and walked to the cashier inside the gas station, put himself in the register and sent the few one dollar bills out there to greet me. 

That was gonna be my "spending change" for the weekend, now I'm busted and disgusted!  And I know I ain't by myself. These gas prices got us all in a funk.

And if that mo-fo Osama bin Laden is behind it all, he MUST be destroyed.  Will capturing him bring us back to the glory days of $1.02 a gallon for regular unleaded gasoline?  If so, I'm willing to wrap up in a bunch of fitted sheets, head to where the hell ever he is right now (probably Cleveland, working at the Wal-Mart--he's rolling back prices) and put my foot in his ass!

from them child molestation charges! There were still charges out there pending, but they've been dropped. I wonder how much he had to pay to make the little boys and their broke a$$ mommas go away! That was an expensive little piece of tail! Poor Michael, at one time he was the kind of pop, now he's the king pedophile!   more »

I met a lovely lady named Sylvia the other day at a baby modeling audition. Her son is about the same age as Andrew and she's black--and so is her boyfriend (which is rare in Minnesota). We laughed it up while our kids played well together. Once the session was done, she gave me her phone number so that we could schedule a "play date". I ain't have the heart to tell her that I ain't taking applications for new friends, unless you're over 65 years old. All my new friends MUST be registered members of AARP. I can't have no cute young sexy friends, I can't put my poor husband under that kind of pressure...   more »

I mean, technically I did NOT cheat on my husband, but I feel like I did. So, (I can't believe I'm telling y'all this) last night, I had the weirdest dream. I dreamed I was at a television news conference for journalists and I was at my hotel room taking a break from workshops and such.  Well, I'm laying there, flipping channels on the television, and someone rings my doorbell (yeah, the hotel room in the dream had a door bell, don't ask questions, just roll with me).  I open the door, and it's my college boyfriend Byron.  Now Byron is a dead ringer for former NBA Phoenix Suns basketball player Kevin Johnson.  He's short, light skinned and got big lips. But hey, I was in to short, light skinned big lipped guys in college.  Byron and I had the same major in college: journalism--so after long nights of studying--we wound up getting buck naked and drunk. Which is why it took my black ass 10 years to graduate from college.

Anyway, so back to my dream!  So I answer the doorbell at my hotel and Byron walks in. He's bucked naked. I mean not a stitch of clothing on him!!!  He sits down on my bed and starts talking like we're back in college or something.  I'm like "Oh my goodness, you're gonna get me put out of my own house.  Get your naked a$$ out of here."  But he keeps talking and I engage him in conversation and before long, we're both sitting there in the bed naked talking.  I mean neither one of us has on a stitch of clothing.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walk by my hotel room door (the hotel room door is glass in the dream). I could swear it's Shawn, but in my mind, in my dream, I'm figuring he's at home, so it couldn't possibly be him.  So Byron and I get closer and keep talking and before long, we're arm-in-arm.  And before he could plant a kiss on my lips, in walks Shawn.

I swear to you, I was so damned scared, I woke up out of my sleep and yelled, "I ain't do nothing!" I woke up Shawn, Andrew and the neighbors!  Shawn turned over and was like "What is wrong with you? What are you talking about?" When I looked around and didn't see Byron, realized I was at home, in my bed with my night gown on, I laid back down. But my heart was racing and I couldn't go back to sleep. I tell you guys right now, I was so damned scared I could have wet the bed.

Ain't that something? I could steal Andrew's Christmas promotional photo out of Target Department Store and not break a sweat, but the thought of a dream about me cheating over Shawn gives me a migraine head ache.  I been feeling guilty all day; like I should confess....

'bout Tyler Perry. That brother just donated so much food to an Atlanta food bank, that they can now feed 1,000 families for two weeks. Ain't that a blessing? Y'all know, back in the day Tyler himself was homeless and living out of his car. That brother is a self made millionarie, but hasn't forgotten what it was like to be down and out...   more »

he done been to the mountain top and now he got gray hair popping up all over the place. He says er'rey since Hillary was kicking his a$$ and now he got McCain on his back and Sarah done umped in the fight, he's getting older and older by the minute. Like time is moving at worp speed, and he is aging in dog years. For ever week he spends on the campaign trail, he ages a year. By the time this thing is over, he'll be at least 100 years old before he takes the oath of office.   more »

Y'all know er'rey week on Tuesday, we go through the archives and pull up an old blog that tickles our funny bone. One that I almost forgot about was the first time our webmaster Justin tried his hand at comedy and wrote a story about the day he and Shawn went into US Bank to get a "joint account". They thought the two of 'em were either Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder--or domestic "partners". It makes me chuckle every time I read it...   more »

and so do his movies. He has the number 1 box office movie of the weekend. His crazy neighbor thriller "Lakeview Terrace" took in nearly 16-million bucks Saturday and Sunday. The movie is about a crazy cop neighbor who goes nuts on an inter-racial couple living next door. Man, I should get somebody to come to my house and start filming, because if my neighbor comes outside one more damn time and smokes a joint in the front yard and blows the smoke in my front room window, I'm gonna stab his ass with a kitchen knife. I guess that'd be more reality television though...   more »

I'm putting my son up for adoption and looking for a nice "foster family" to take him in until the deal is done. I can't and won't be ready for 2 years old for at least another ten or twenty years.  I can't keep up. I mean, I'm tired when I wake up in the morning, I'm tired from running all day, and by the time night time rolls around, I'm too tired to even lean over and kiss my husband!  I'm just worn the f)(*&k out!  Andrew is taking every piece of energy I have just trying to keep him safe.  The makers of One A Day should invent a vitamin that is specifically designed for parents of two year olds. Something that will give you a burst of energy to help get you through the day without collapsing from exhaustion or going insane.  Or perhaps the folks who make the Red Bull energy drink can give me something in an IV drip that can give me the extra boost I need to keep me going.

The other morning, I blinked and he was inside the stove looking for the "light". I mean literally, he had crawled inside the damn stove!  A few weeks ago, while I was trying to use the downstairs guest restroom, I heard the dryer come on.  That boy had opened the door, climbed up on top of the dryer and pressed the "start" button.  Last Friday, he was standing at the door looking at the garbage truck come by and clear out all the trash cans. He thinks it's fun to watch the big handle pick up the blue trash can and lift it high in the sky and dump all the waste out.  I thought he couldn't open the door, it was locked, and surely, I didn't know he had the "hand-eye" coordination to open it.  Well honey, I was DEAD WRONG. I looked for my son to give him a snack and couldn't find him--I thought he was playing hide and go seek in the house when I soon realized he was no where to be found.  I look out the window in a panic and realized that he had walked down the driveway and went to try and bring the trash can back up to the house.  We go to the zoo, he's trying to climb in the monkey cage.  I'm chasing him down and he's running faster than Carl Lewis. Hell, I'm fat for a reason, not because I can run fast, because my lazy ass likes sitting down and not moving very much.  My child is pushing me beyond my limitations... But the straw that broke the camel's back was this morning, when I was getting him ready to start the day and I was ironing his clothes--Andrew disappeared--got real quiet and stopped making a sound.  I knew something was wrong when I ain't hear the boy breathing. I just knew either my cell phone or my new pair of shoes were in the toilet.  I went in the bathroom and I couldn't find him--but I knew I was in trouble when the door to my hair care products was open.  I finally found my son with a head full of hair grease on his head. He had it caked on so thick, I couldn't even see his hair.  Oh child, I think I washed his hair for about 20 minutes before I got all that junk out.  Then, once I was done, he grabbed a shower cap and walked around the house for about an hour--like he had a jerry curl and he was singing lead vocals for Ready for the World!

cause I missed church today. Not just that I 'missed' church, but that I planned to miss church. Every since they replaced my favorite pastor with an old negro spiritual who is old enough to know Jesus personally (I believe they went to the same barber shop), I haven't really enjoyed worship services. On Sunday morning, I find any excuse to get out of going to church. Today, I told Shawn, "It is too sunny to leave out of the house. I'm afraid to get a tan, get too black, and lose my benefits as a light skinned sister." Last week when we did go, I told him we had to leave early cause a light bulb had burned out in the women's restroom and since I had the baby things have shifted and I need to "see" where er'rething is down there (I swear it be moving on me). Not having proper lighting was a health hazard; and with my weak bladder, I was sure I'd need to go at least three or four times before service was over.   more »

Poor Natalie Cole is catching hell, for real this time, it ain't just a song she's singing about. Girlfriend was hospitalized in New York. Y'all know she's been undergoing chemo treatment for liver disease. Instead of her just trying to take care of herself, girlfriend has been in "overdrive mode" promoting her new album, Still Unforgettable. And that took a toll on her body. Well she's gonna have to sit down now and rest, cause they've postponed all her October appearances until she gets better...   more »

I went to Victoria's Secret last night to buy two bras that cost me a total of 90-bucks. We're talking $45 a piece!! I wanted to see if I could either buy half a bra, or put both of 'em on lay-a-way. While I was at the cash register haggling with the "bra lady", my husband and son were play fighting with women's underwear on the other side of the store. I yelled at them to stop all the foolishness, but Shawn instructed me that he was just getting Andrew ready for the future, "because he'd be fighting over panties the rest of his life..."   more »

in addition to marrying the most handsome and wealthiest brother on the planet--getting knocked up several times so he can't go no where--girlfriend is making paper of her own. She's got a new movie out that's doing great, PLUS, she's set to star and direct a new television show called "Time Heals" which will air on TNT. Do it then girlfriend, do the damn thang...   more »

you know my little Andrew does baby modeling right? He's a regular in Target Portrait Studio and JC Penny, along with Manhattan Toy Company.  I mean, it ain't like he's Gary Coleman or Rodney Allen Ripey or anything, but he works on a regular basis.  Some of the stuff doesn't get published and other times, he poses for photos that wind up in industry books that don't get circulated to the public.  So, anyway, we were at Life Touch Portrait Studio recently, they are the company that takes photos for all the schools in the country.  They also do the advertising photos for companies like Target, Penny and a few other companies. They are a pretty big corporation with a very large campus with five or six buildings and a parking lot the size of a football field. They probably have more than 500 employees.  It's a fairly big operation. And we're honored that they love themselves some Andrew.  He goes to Lifetouch all the time and does modeling for them.  And we are very VERY grateful for that cause they're putting money in his college savings plan.  Otherwise, he'd be going to a trade school to learn how to be an auto mechanic.

So one day, we were at Lifetouch and Andrew was doing a Spring photo shoot for Target.  After he was done, the photographers were so impressed with his demeanor.  They kept saying "Oh he sits so well for a 2 year old.  Most kids his age are all over the place!" I wanted to tell them that he knows if he don't act right and make this money, won't be no school after 12th grade. 

One of the ladies in the studio asked me "Would he be able to pose for family photographs?" I was like "Oh yeah, I mean, we can come back whenever you want us to. I'll have to check with my husband to see if he's free, because his schedule is busy, but I am sure we can make something work."

She was so sweet when she told me, "Umh, we already have the family, we just would like Andrew to pose with them."

I got all excited, thinking me and Shawn was bout to be a modeling family, but they wanted my baby to pose with another momma and another daddy and a damn big sister and a dog.  And they were the most beautiful family I've ever seen.  I started to leave Andrew there and start a brand new family--cause my baby looked like he belonged with those folks!  He even "favored" the daddy, I damn  near wanted to check to see if I "knew" the guy before I married Shawn. 

Ain't that somethin? How would I ever think that these folks wanted my fat a$$ with crooked teeth and acne to be in their photographs? Child, I was so shame when I realized what was going on... all I could do was laugh...

R Kelly or OJ Simpson! So OJ kills a a white woman AND her boyfriend and gets away with it. Then, instead of laying low, he goes and acts a fool with his homeboys--KNOWING full well Johnnie Cochran is dead and gone--and can't get his busted up ass out of jail. Then, R Kelly has sex with underaged girls on tape, gets caught, but somehow escapes the guilty verdict he so well deserves. And instead of laying low, he goes on BET and talks about his love for teenage girls. This you gotta see to believe. White folks, please by-pass this post, cause R Kelly is setting black folks back about 400 years with this ghetto madness. All the way to the cotton fields of Texas. I feel like singing old negro spirituals every time I look at this video...   more »

the I-35 bridge opened up again.  Most of the folks I know are excited that it will alleviate traffic congestion for early  morning commuters, but I am cautiously optimistic about it all.  I watched on the early morning newscasts as cars and trucks rolled over the new concrete bridge that replaced the one that took a nose dive and plunged into the Mississippi River back in August of 2007.  Contractors finished the construction of the new I-35 bridge 100 days ahead of schedule.  Now mind you, it ain't all done.  They've got partial lane closures, concrete beams to put up, and other infrastructure to install.  But of course, they wanted to open it up NOW BEFORE they get all this done, because the contractor gets a multi-million dollar bonus if they complete the job early.  I wonder if the last contractors who built the bridge got "rushed" by a financial incentive to get the job done quick, fast and in a hurry.  Didn't we learn our lesson the first time?  I mean, it's barely been a year and a new bridge is already up and running?  Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I don't think so!

I'm going to need the Minnesota Department of Transportation to take that extra 100 days to make sure they actually got it right this time.  Park a bunch of cement trucks up there on the  bridge and let 'em sit there for 50 days, if the bridge holds up, back-door that with a few tractor trailers hauling loads of concrete, 25 days later, if the bridge holds up, invite the biggest fattest women in town to a picnic smack dab in the middle of the bridge.  Serve 'em baby-back-ribs and leg quarters all day long--if the bridge can hold up to that--it's ready for regular traffic!

That's the word after investigators looked into the death of Sean Levert. He was the baby brother of Gerald Levert, and son of O'Jay's lead singer Eddie Levert. Bruh man was serving 22 months in the joint for not paying his child support--and while he was in there--he died. At first, familyt hought somebody had "done him something" but officially, they say he died from the same disease that killed Bernie Mac: sarcodiosis. But that ain't stoppin' his family from suing to try and get some pocket change...   more »

Loud parties, dirty kids, cars up on blocks in the front yard? Find out how to call out your bad neighbor for everyone to see online, that is, if they haven't already written about you on the web...   more »

should NOT do! First, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick got caught screwing with his chief of staff. Instead of fessin' up, his "outside hoe" Christine Beatty denied er'rething and commenced to firing any and everybody who knew anything about their little "love affair". She thought that would keep this whole mess quiet. Now it's a national story! Then, she thought Kwame was gonna leave his wife for her--so girlfriend dismissed her husband and left her house and chil'len: WRONG! Kwame is still with his wife and 'bout to do jail time. Now old Freaky Christine is headed to court and facing 15 years in prison for 8 felony counts 'bout lying on the stand to protect her married boyfriend. Let this be a lesson to all Shawn's outside women: EVEN IF YOU WIN AND GET TO SLEEP WITH THE MAN, YOU STILL LOSE!!   more »

I was looking at a web entry we put together back about a year ago after Shawn declared that he was being persecuted BY ME! Not just him, but husbands everywhere were hurting (he declared) and needed a leader, someone to champion their cause, to speak on their behalf. To possibly get a piece of legislation together so that they could escape the visious clutches of an evil group of people known as WIVES!!!   more »

and the prosecution is on him like white women on a star football player at Pro Bowl weekend in Hawaii! OJ knows this is the end for him. He was listening to Boys 2 Men on his I-pod on the way in the courtroom. They say you could hear him humming "Although we've come, to the end of the road, still I can't let go, it's so natural, you belong to me, I belong to you..." He looks like he's praying in this photo--I'm glad--cause the next time he'll be free--he's gonna be hanging with Jesus! White folks talkin' bout throwing the book at OJ, putting him in jail for LIFE! And ain't even nobody dead this time...   more »

My little 2 year old baby has been stopped up for a couple of weeks now. Er're time we put him down for a nap or to sleep for the night, he wakes up barely breathing. I called my momma to find out what to do, and she gave me some of the craziest remedies I've ever heard of; including putting Vick's Vapor Rub on the bottom of his feet AND feeding him garlic. My son walked around smelling like a 65 year old senior citizen! Come to find out, it was just allergies...   more »

go to the projects!!!  That's right, the projects is the place to be when hurricane force winds are hurling around your head! 

I checked in with my Houston family, my momma 'nem and my grand momma 'nem and all my aunts and uncles after Ike blew through--and er'rebody is safe and sound.  Nobody is injured and er'rebody is accounted for, except of course, my drunk Uncle Clyde, but hell, you can't find him on a sunny Sunday afternoon--so that ain't no surprise.

There are some kin folks who sustained damages to their houses and property.  My aunt Sheila's roof caved in on her home. Her and Uncle Whitney have a brand new house in a wonderful south Houston subdivision.  Damn roof folded like a cheap card table.  Shawn's home girl Tarrin had some damage to her home as well. 

But all my kin folks in the 5th Ward Kelly Court Projects ain't got a care in the world!  I talked to my great grand momma and she was at home watching a movie.  4 million people without power, and NOT one of 'em live in the projects!  Those bricks can withstand anything.  There are some of my kin folks who live in two story brick houses in the 'burbs who evacuated to the projects!  I don't know what those things are made of, but a Category 3 Hurricane ain't got nothin' on 'em!  I called frantically to check on my Aunt Darnitha, and she was hanging out with her kids, watching Next Friday on BET.  Didn't loose power, water still running, no windows broken, NOTHING! 

And plus that, in the projects, is where all the televisions are on sale right now.  Looters got big screen televisions and flat screens and cell phones and I-pods and MP3 players and lap tops for little to nothing.  So not only are you safe from the storm, you can get a good deal on a DVD player and a sofa/love seat combination!!

 

not to laugh at these poor white reporters working for MSNBC (I say that cause MSNBC ain't got a black reporter to their name--I just finished watching 10 hours of hurricane Ike coverage and the only thing black on that station is the anchor's suit), but they keep getting swept up in the storms.  I swear, when they sign their contracts they should include hazardous work pay or something.  Cause MSNBC will put them in harms' way every single time.

So Shawn and I can't sleep last night, and we're watching storm coverage of Hurricane Ike making landfall on the Texas coast. Let me just say that I am a lifelong Houston resident, so my momma, my brother, my two sisters, my aunts, cousins and grandmother and great grandmother are all in the path of this 600-mile wide MONSTER!  Shawn lived in Houston for seven years before moving to Minnesota, so his former church family is a concern for him, along with good friends, his outside woman, inside woman, former fiance and about fifteen hoes he used to bang are all in harm's way as well. So he's worried and nerved up just like I am about Ike tearing up Houston and Galveston!

They said the storm would make landfall at 3 a.m., well, at 2:58 a.m., Shawn sat straight up in the bed, nudged me, and we grabbed our pillows and 2 year old son to watch MSNBC's coverage of the storm coming ashore.  Of course, we are faithful to MSNBC cause their reporters didn't get their Journalism School Degrees from a 3 day online coorespondence course--they actually are trained professionals (unlike those Michelle Obama hating red neck right wingers at Faux News). 

I called my momma at around 3:30 and she and my dad were laying on the floor in the hallway. They said they'd never felt winds like this before in their lives!  The power was out for them, along with 4 million other customers.  We didn't talk long, but it was good to hear their voices.  We tried calling a few other folks, but couldn't get through to anyone!

So we waited and watched the news, hoping this monster storm wouldn't cause any fatalities.  SIDENOTE: Why would they name a storm something like IKE? Didn't the folks at the weather center see "What's Love Got to Do With It?"?  Didn't they see how Larry Fishburne was beating the hell out of Angela Basett?  And those movie beatings weren't half as bad as what the real Ike Turner was doing to Tina!  So Ike haaaad to come through the Gulf Coast and kick ass.  That's what Ikes are known for.  I'm gonna need them to pick gentler names like Larry or Buffy or Kenny--I'm not so much afraid of a storm named Buffy. But Ike on the other hand--he scares the bajeezus out of me!

Anyway, so we're watching the coverage and MSNBC goes live to a guy in the field, some dude last name "Bettes".  He's standing near a bunch of bushes and the cool dry air conditioned anchor asks him to report on what he's seeing and what's happening out there in Galveston, Texas. Mind you, the storm has just come ashore, it's blowing winds at 110 miles per hour, and this guy is standing out in front of the hotel where he's staying trying to kick the "actual factuals".  Wellllllllllllllllll, Bettes must have been saying something about Ike that he didn't take to kindly to, cause that storm picked his ass up, swung him over a bush and up against a concrete wall.  And the nice white guy jumped back over the bushes and kept reporting.  Had that been a black reporter whose name was "Jackson" or "Washington"--child, he would have signed off "Kiss my ass, f)(*k you very much, I'm out!" He would have dropped the mic right there, went back to his hotel room, and done up a new resume to find a new gig in public relations!

I just got an e-mail from my good friend Jason DeRusha at WCCO TV informing me that Sheletta.com is in the running for the 2008 Regional Emmy for Best Blog!  I'm too excited about our nomination!  Y'all know we took home the "Gold" last year in 2007 in the same category.  Like the old school 1970s R&B group Shalamar, I think it'll be better, the second time around.  I'm hoping for a repeat...

But before I just show up to the awards ceremony all "bootleg" like I did last year (without paying for a ticket), Jason quickly informed me that I need to pay to get in this year--and armed security guards will be posted at the door in case I try to violate the rules. I can't be hovering around out in the lobby waiting for the on-line category--then go in when I hear my name called like we did in 2007!  He said I have to buy two tickets, one for me and one for Shawn.  At $125 a piece, I'm wondering if we only stay for half the ceremony, bring our own food and our own lawn chairs and folding table--if we can get a pro-rated ticket rate.  'Cause if we gotta pay full price, I won't be able to afford any pampers for my 2 year old son for the next six months! 

Everything is measured in pampers around here--and $250 is a whole lot of diapers and butt paste!  So either little Andrew is going to have to get potty trained really quickly--or I'll have to put him on a healthy diet of Spam, bologna and government cheese until we get our income tax rebate check--and that won't be until January of '09!

 

 

Police say they have arrested Kanye West at Los Angeles International Airport on suspicion of vandalism after an altercation with a photographer.  An airport spokesman says police also arrested West's road manager shortly before 8 a.m. on Thursday.  Airport spokesman Marshall Lowe says early reports are that West got into an altercation with a commercial photographer and a camera valued at more than $10,000 was broken.  The incident happened before West and his manager, who was not identified, cleared a security screening at the airport.  Lowe says police are continuing to interview witnesses and West may be booked later this morning.

 

So I'm at home, watching the coverage of the anniversary of 9/11 on the news and I'm torn.  Because on the one hand, I see all these people who lost loved ones on that day, in those towers and on those planes--standing at the scene of the crash--grieving--mourning the loss of friends and family members.  It's like it happened yesterday for them.  Like they've had no closure.  They are clutching photographs and crying hysterically and all these years later, as if the tragedy happened yesterday.

What happened was catastrophic, nobody is denying that. But what I want to know is do you think there should be memorials, on a large scale, every year at the site of Ground Zero in New York?  Or should people memorialize their loved ones in private?

Because I'm looking at these family members and it just seems like they are rehearsing the tragedy over and over again every year.  Like they are grieving all over again for their lost loved ones.  Like they haven't had an opportunity to heal--because every year they relive the tragedy all over again. 

on David Letterman's show last night? He was clean as the board of health. I tell you what, if 'Rack Rack' does get in the White House, Michelle had better watch her back and watch out for interns, cause that brother is F-I-N-E (with a capital F)! I'm gonna sign up to be a White House intern when he becomes president, and I promise, I won't tell a soul! Won't be no "smoking gun" or "stained dress"--I plan on cleaning up all the evidence...   more »

So I'm being a "snooty booty" and acting like I'm better than er'rebody else cause I don't allow my child to watch television.  I mean, it had gotten to the point where I was looking down my nose at other moms who allowed their little darlings to view Nick programs or even Sesame Street.  Hell, we all know if it wasn't for School House Rock, my black ass would have never figured out what a noun is.  I'd be 36 years old still trying to pass 9th grade English.

I was talking to my momma on the phone the other day, being all "proper" when I declared, "Yeah, no television for Andrew, he has other things to do like learning to spell his name, recognizing his colors, world leaders, Martin Luther King quotes..." in the background, I was playing Teddy Pendegrass' Greatest Hits album.

My momma asked, "What the hell are you listening to at 9 o'clock in the morning?" 

I told her, "Oh, that's Teddy P's Close the Door, Andrew loves that song. That's his favorite song. He wakes up in the morning asking for Close the Door. He can even sing the first two lines."

My momma laughed at my crazy ass, "Oh," she chuckled, "so you won't let him watch an educational program like Sesame Street so he can learn his ABCs and his 123s, but you'll let him listen to Teddy Pendergrass sing about having sex!  Yeah, that makes a lot of damn sense Sheletta!"

Did you see all of the people protesting the Republican National Convention and Sen. John McCain last week in St. Paul on TV? Well, I was there on the front lines covering it as a journalist for my day job.

I was on Rice St. and University Ave. when the mob of protesters--in the shadow of our State Capitol--finally outnumbered the riot police and the cops retaliated with tear gas, smoke bombs, and flashbangs.

Below are video and stills I shot to give you an up-close look at the madness of the day. Have a look, I dont' think you'll be disappointed...

(Caution, really strong language, some of it was me. And, if you're wondering, the dude on the bike ended up being OK).




It wasn't all bad, though, 95 percent of the protesters were peaceful and played by the rules. Those other jerks ruined it for all of the protesters who actually had a message they wanted to get across. Here's some stills of the good protesters, they were very colorful:

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out of OJ Simpson! Poor thing, jury selection is underway in those trumped up charges they made appear like magic against him in Las Vegas. Claiming he falsely imprisoned some dude who tried to steal his sports collectables. I still don't understand it, OJ ain't touch a soul, nobody got shot, stabbed 500 times or even punched--but they 'bout to send The Juice to jail for a long time. Not for this crime, cause wasn't no crime committed, but for killing Nicole and Ron. What ever happened to double jeapordy?   more »

So this morning, I'm helping my beloved son with his "potty training" routine. We strip off the pamper and I gently ask him to sit down; however, the thought of running around the house naked is much more fun--so he takes off. He's faster than Carl Lewis and I'm slower than Rosie O'Donnell after eating at a Chinese lunch buffet. He turns the corner and he stops--I approach him--he grunts and OUT COMES TWO CHOCOLATE MUFFINS! That ain't so bad. I clean up the cake batter, but I still smell it. I mean the scent won't get out of my nose! It's been two hours and I can't figure out why that scent ain't gone. I mean, I used Clorox, 409 and Amonia--but it's right there. After scrubbing a hole in my carpet, I get ready for a day of park and tennis... I get ready to put on my socks and there is a spoon full of chocolate cake batter on the heel of my foot. I been dragging the damn thing around the house for hours. It's all over the place--on the rugs--on the porch--in the laundry room--in the bathrooms. Reminded me of the first time he baked me a cake, back in October of 2007, we called the web entry: "Should I change his name to Duncan Hines?"...   more »

some old phone books to sit on while he's driving. Cause obviously, 'Arnold' can't see over the steering wheel. He hit a pedestrian AND another car while he was backing out of a parking spot. Gary said it was an "accident" but police are invesitgating it as a possible road rage incident. The dude Arnold hit, he had just gotten into a shouting match with at a local bowling alley. I guess that means he was trying to get a STRIKE!!!   more »

I don't know