about our weekly soap opera As The Down Low Brother Turns!  It updates every Thursday right here on Sheletta.com and has more twists and turns than big momma's Sunday stockings!  So check out all the action of Richard Clarkson in his quest to lead a double lifestyle by clicking here or go to the left hand side of the page and scroll down to the "Down Low Brother Soap Opera" tagline.

Later on today, I'll make you laugh--I promise! But now, I want to reflect on last year's tragedy of the I35 Bridge collapse that happened in Minneapolis and killed a dozen people. I remember it almost like a bad dream of sorts--it was no nightmare--it was real life. But the spirit of those rescue workers and every day people who risked their lives to save others was remarkable! On August 1st, last year, I thought about how precious life is and how we should all be grateful for it.   more »

OK, so Ludacris has tried to help Barack Obama's campaign in the past by holding fundraisers and making donations, now he has written a diss record on Obama's behalf calling Hillary a bitch and rippin McCain a new one! Well Obama ain't having it. He's gotta put Luda in check like he did Bernie Mac a few weeks ago. He said Luda should be ashamed of his lyrics! Apparently, Obama ain't heard much rap music lately. Luda is tame by comparison...   more »

The House of Representatives issuing an apology to black folks for slavery? I just got wind of it and they can keep their damned apology, I want my 40 acres and my mule that was promised to my great-great-great-great grandmother for the half century she picked cotton in the hot Texas sun and never got paid for it (we ain't gonna mention the ass whoopings she endured, the children that were sold off, or repeated sexual assault that was never prosecuted) ! If they ain't got my acres and my ass, I'll settle for three mortgage payments and a full tank of gas! For everything she went through, that's the LEAST the government can do!!!   more »

with the two year olds in my play group who have private tutors! These kids are sharp--I'm talking they are doing fractions and reading chapter books. So yesterday, I decided to try and teach Andrew who his world leaders were. He knows Barack Obama, John McCain and George W. Bush. I should have left it there, I pushed my baby to the limits when I tried to teah him who Condaleeza Rice was. It was especially hard for him to keep it all straight while he was eating smothered pork chops, rice and okra. Now, when you ask my two year old who the Secretary of State is, his response is "Rice and Gravy"!   more »

Keith, I hope you're keeping track, because this is Uncle Kathy's third (3rd) week in a row making sure I complete my advice column. This will be the first time since I moved to Baltimore that I can actually put in an invoice for a full month's check for this freelance writing job.   more »

got money coming in from all sides. Chris Brown and Ne-Yo have both been paid out the wazoo to do ads with Big Red gum and Juicy Fruit! They'll be singing and tap dancing and eating watermelon! Just joking! I know somebody is gonna call these young brothers "sell outs", but actually they are smarter little marketers. And fine as hell. I swear, I just found out what a "cougar" was, and that little Chris Brown can dance on top my living room table without a shirt any day...   more »

If you don't learn from your mistakes, you're doomed to repeat them. That's what happened to me last week when I went to Estetica Salon in St. Paul for an eyebrow wax. Over the phone, the receptionist told me I'd be seeing "Ann Marie"--which was great--cause she was voted best "eyebrow waxer" by City Pages Magazine. They failed to mention the salon charges DOUBLE for her services. Let's just say each eye was more than $20! Something similar happened to me in February of 2007, and I wrote about it in a blog called "Check the menu before selecting an item"...   more »

that was the question posed to a room full of journalists in Chicago this weekend at the Unity Conference. Barack Obama was coming to speak to us as part of Wolf Blitzer's show on CNN. The live broadcast fielded audience member's questions as well as the two hosts of the program. Well, when he came out to take the stage--everyone stood up to clap--and apparently--we were taken to task for that. Funny, we did the same EXACT thing four years ago when W. came to speak at the conference--and nobody said a damn thing about it...   more »

and y'all know that's hard for girlfriend to do cause she's beautiful! But she is pissed at the paparazzi for sneaking on her property to take photos of her daughter. She should move to Texas, because when somebody comes to your house, unannounced, you can shoot (to kill) first and ask questions later--and you won't be prosecuted. You would think the Terminator was the governor of the Lone Star State instead of California. The laws are much too friendly on the west coast...   more »

last weekend before I left for Chi-Town (I still ain't seen R Kelly yet, I should probably hang out at Chuck E. Cheese), he bought me some new traveling clothing. A couple of pair of comfy knee-length shorts and plain t-shirts. We call it my "Uncle Kathy" attire! And I tell you what, the Lesbians ain't stopped hitting on me since I got here. I'm drawing them in like flies...   more »

for talking too much and about her BOSS! I'm hoping she really pisses Barbara Walters off so I can take her spot on that morning day time talk show. A sister like me needs some extra income (cause I'm bout to start cutting grass and picking up cans in the street to make ends meet). Apparently, Sherri told a religious magazine that she wishes there was some more Christian folks on The View so that they could "lay hands" on Barb and get her saved! I'm getting my resume together RIGHT NOW!!   more »

So I'm in Chicago doing a news story for my CrossRoads television show on Historically Black Travel and hanging out at a journalists of color conference. Walking up and down Michigan Avenue (looking for Oprah), I'm standing at the curb and a damned pigeon taps me on the shoulder and asks me "Hey, you got a light? I just bummed a smoke off this black guy but I don't have a lighter."   more »

on business, and you damn well better believe I ain't flying Northwest Airlines. Or any other air carrier for that matter. Never mind that the prices are through the roof, and they are now charging for everything from using the restroom on the plane to the first bag of checked luggage. Neither of those are behind my reasoning for hitting the road! I'd rather fly than drive because last time I flew, when I got home and unpacked my bags, all my valuables were missing and Shawn wound up wearing another man's t-shirts for two days. Damned thieving baggage attendants, I hope my fake pearls made their ears turn green!   more »

in their house! There is usually a bunch of 'em cause they travel in "packs". Apparently, so do "outside women". Y'all remember the story about the Mayor of Detroit, brother named Kwame (no relation to the Polka dotted rapper from the 1990s) who got caught cheating on his wife with his Chief of Staff after he sent her explicit text messages on the city's celly? Well, she ain't his only mistress. This brother used the company phone to send nasty messages to more than a dozen sisters. Now his wife and his woman are pissed at him...   more »

Uncle Kathy knows what you're thinking (Keith), you're saying to yourself, "Uncle Kathy isn't going to post a blog two weeks in a row!" Well, better late than never I always say. Actually, I'm not late for this week's advice column, I'm early for next week. How you like them apples?   more »

So I find out Wendy Williams has her own talk show on Fox. That's one reason to stop watching television right there. Then I see she had Omarosa (from "The Apprentice") on her show--and these two talentless heffas got into a fight on camera in front of the audience. If they had any gifts at all, they'd be doing movies--you'd never see Jada or Angela Basset acting like this. 'Cause they got class! Just when Michelle Obama does everything to lift up the image of black women--these two jigga boos pull us back down in the gutter! (I can't even put a photo of either of those witches on my website--so enjoy this photo of a true strong sister and her mate!)   more »

So we were out at the park yesterday and they had those "diggers" the kids were playing on. Shawn busted out laughing and reminded me of something that happened to us in St. Paul last summer. When he told me, I ran home and pulled up the old blog to refresh my memory. It was funny as hell. Let's just say it involved me, him, Andrew, a little white kid and the "N" word...   more »

did Batman get to be so popular? The movie broke all kinds of box office records this weekend for taking home $152 million in ticket sales! Batman wasn't even the most popular super hero or the coolest of the Super Friends! If anybody asks me, Aqua Man should be getting all this praise. How cool is it when a dude can swim under water and talk to the fish? After him on the Super Friends cool factor was Wonder Woman. She had a magic laso that could make folks tell the truth. All women need one of those. Put it around your husband's waist and he just starts confessing "Honey, OK, so I did tongue kiss my secretary, but it was only once and her breath was bad"...   more »

the darndest things! I was at home recently hanging out with family in Houston to celebrate Andrew's Birthday when I had the pleasure of spending time with my nieces and nephew. I was helping my little niece brush her teeth and when I gave her a little Listerine/Water mixture, she looked in the cup, looked at me, and said "What is this? It's brown. I'm sorry auntie, but I don't drink poison..."   more »

I’ve been catchin’ hell around the house for letting my roles as Father, Husband, Breadwinner, Landscaper, and part-time Cook interfere with my bloggin’. It has been “a month of Sunday’s (literally), since my latest installment of “Shawn’s Sunday Thought.” Not that there hasn’t been anything to think about….. It’s just the wear and tear of things that caused me to not write down my thoughts.   more »

birthday party for Andrew's church buddy Elijah. The tike was turning three years old so his mom and dad threw him a beautiful bash at the kid friendly pizza joint. Let me tell y'all something, that place is a casino for children. You walk around with a cup of coins, going from one shiny machine to another playing games. And everywhere you look, there are machines that light up and make lots of noise! If you're lucky, you win big and pick up a prize. By the time it was over, I felt like I needed to call "Chuck E. Cheese Anonymous" for my son to go through detox.   more »

Y'all thought I was pissed about hip-hop and the way it's spiraled out of control, well Laila Ali is right along with me. Girlfriend is so upset about rap music and lyrics that continually diss black women that when I interviewed her and asked about it--her exact words were "I'm so pissed, don't even get me started!"  This beautiful brown sister is passionate and very intelligent.  She's a wonderful role model for young black girls--and we ain't got many these days to choose from these days!  She's expecing her first baby in a few months, but that ain't stopping girlfriend from going out there and making that paper--she's got a few new television projects coming out...

on this day back in 1992--Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston got married. Against better judgement and warnings from momma, daddy, and Jesus, the couple said "I Do" at a lavish ceremony in New Jersey. We all saw it coming! We knew it wasn't gonna last. We all knew Whitney was gonna drag poor Bobby down to the gutter with her and get him hooked on crack! He should have known better...   more »

We have a weekly soap opera right here on Sheletta.com called "As the Down Low Brotha Turns" with new episodes each Thursday.  Click here to see the latest in the Rich Clarkson saga, a brother who tries to lead a double life (of gay man and faithful husband) and gets caught up in hair-raising drama! Child, it has more twists and turns than a roller coaster!

she was diagnosed after a routine exam at her doctor's office! Y'all know ole' Natalie used to be hooked on that narcotic before she got saved and found Jesus. Don't be looking down on Natalie either, we was all hooked on something at one point in our lives--might not have been drugs but it was sumthin'! Anyway, Natalie is doing better, but she's still in the hospital. Is it just me or were her songs better when she was high? Once she sobered up, I lost interest...   more »

since Shawn decided that we were NOT going to watch any television any more. We didn't do much TV to begin with--programming sucks these days--and the new movies coming on DVD ain't all that funny--even the latest Will Ferrell flick sucked! But when we saw how comatosed Andrew was watching Noggin the other day--Shawn declared that nobody at our house would be watching television. Needless to say, my black a$$ ain't getting NO break during the day...   more »

when funkmaster George Clinton is selling energy drinks. Yeah child, George Clinton has his own drink called Atomic Dogg. Now, it has an ingredient in there called "Horny Goat Weed". First, George is too old to be drinking anything that makes him "horny". Second, if you get too horny, you don't wanna cross paths with a goat. Third, you knew he's find a way to sneak some "weed" in there!   more »

I shouldn't have left you, without some advice to step to..." OK, I'm biting Eric B. & Rakim's rap lyrics, but Uncle Kathy is back (sound the alarm). My AOL account was flooded with e-mails this morning and I really appreciate the love from the people who enjoy Uncle Kathy's advice columns week after week. I was told by some of you that the "honeymoon is over" and that I should get back to work. So, here I is, in all my glory!   more »

OK, I got to give credick where credick is due! Today is Millie Jackson's birthday. For those of you who don't know who Millie Jackson is, she was the first Little Kim before Little Kim came on the scene. Back in the early 1970s, she had a series of live albums where she cussed and sang and talked about everything from cheating boyfriends to being a stalker. I must say that Ms. Millie was a hero to me and an inspiration. She taught me all about love and life. I paid tribute to her and blues pioneer Betty Wright in a blog last year called "Betty Wright was Wrong"...   more »

and you want one of his wigs or capes or blue suede shoes (oh wait, that's the god father of Rock and Roll) for a keeps' sake, then you got a chance. His family is hard up for cash, so they are auctioning off all his stuff. His daughter said to hell with his memories, she gots bills to pay. They got 320 items on sale--first up: AN UN-USED BOX OF DARK AND LOVELY PERM (SUPER--NO LYE)!   more »

OK, I need a little help reminding Uncle Kathy that her blog is due tomorrow no later than 2 p.m.  Now usually I don't do this, but it's been three weeks and I've been begging over and over and over again for my beloved auntie uncle to come on and do her thang.  So now, I'm asking y'all. If you enjoy Uncle Kathy's weekly advice column, please send her a little friendly reminder to let her know she needs to get it together. Y'all can reach her at htownsmith1@aol.com.  If enough of us send her an e-mail, she might just remember she has a job to do...

Apparently, as the story was told to me, Bernie Mac was the opening act at a Barack Obama fundraiser. Ole' Mac, not known for keeping it "clean" got on stage and started doing his regular routine, cussin' and talkin' bout sex (which is what we love him for) and the crowd was not pleased. They were yelling "You're not funny!" and heckling Mac. Obama came out and got on Mac's case! Told him he has to "clean up his act"...   more »

for this week's Top 10 List. I had one all ready to go called "Top 10 things you SHOULDN'T be doing at church" after hanging out at the big Basilica of St. Mary Block Party in Minneapolis last Friday. There was more weed and liquor than you could shake a stick at in the church parking lot! I ain't never seen nothing like it. But then, I logged on to my girl MC Hammer's website this morning and saw a Top 10 list that she wrote that we all could benefit from! So I'm putting my weeded out church story on hold to present to some and introduce to others Mrs. Margaret C, better know to black folks as MC Hammer...   more »

because it's wedding season. And who doesn't love going to a Saturday afternoon wedding? I've got more weddings scheduled for this month than I can shake a stick at--and the one thing that remains constant in all of 'emr: THE BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES ARE ALWAYS TOO SMALL! Would somebody get their chunky sized 18 girlfriends out of those spaghetti strapped dresses that are made for a woman who is a size 4? And just cause you drape a shawl around 'em, doesn't make it right!   more »

the acclaimed film maker says Jesse was "dead wrong" for threatening to circumsize Barack on Fox News Live! I don' tknow why er'rebody wants to give Jesse a pass on this! Folks are saying "He apologized, so let it go..." I'm with Spike--Jesse gotta pay--like he does er're month for child support! Cause if Don Imus had said this, we'd be ready to hang him from a tree, upside down from his toes!   more »

of dangers seen and unseen. For instance, last night, we went to sleep with the door wide open. Woke up this morning--and nobody had broken into our home and we were all in one piece! I know that was the grace of God. But I saw his unfailing protection yesterday when I almost fell victim to the "Piegon Drop"--it wasn't one of those Nigerian scams--although it could have been--I was trying to do something admirable like consolidate my student loan until I realized it was a full blown scam...   more »

Did y'all hear what Jesse said about Obama? Jesse was scheduled to do a live interview on Fox news and off camera (while still on the microphone), he said he wanted to cut Obama's "nuts off"! What the hell? Did this old negro spiritual forget to take his medication? He should be in Obama's corner 110% after how them folks did his ass when he tried to run for President a few decades ago. Jesse, Andrew Young, and all those other negro spirituals should realize their time is over! It's time for change--and they should stand behind this young brother and support him. Talkin' bout chopping somebody's nuts off--that's probably what Jesse's wife wanted to do to him when he came home with a brand new baby by his "outside woman" a few years back!   more »

funny a$$ story that I had to share with y'all. When it happened, I laughed so hard that I needed a box of "Depends" to keep me in tact. It happened at my son's birthday party last week in Houston and involved my cousin Nikki, her two year old daughter, a kiddie swimming pool and a cigarette. Before you read this story--I'm warning you--go the restroom (Sheletta.com is not responsible for any soiled underwear as a result of reading the following blog)...   more »

to being on the hook with the law. Bruh man got busted for stalking his ex-wife, girlfriend, baby momma. Now you know, she must have whipped it on him back in the day if he riding around L.A. with a flash light in the day time with his headlights on and a GPS tracking system looking for ole' girl! Now that's the kind of love I can admire...   more »

partially because I got a cranky 2 year old who wants to walk around on the plane and sing to people. But I am always conscious of keeping him strapped in his seat and busy with books and puzzles. But not er'rebody is keeping watch over their kids. On my way home from Houston, there was a mother-father team with three kids that were so out of control, we couldn't take off cause one of 'em was crawling down the aisle and couldn't be caught. They ain't need "Nanny 9-1-1", these kids needed Ass Whoopings A.S.A.P.!   more »

I realized just how ghetto my family was when I was in Houston recently and we celebrated Andrew's 2nd birthday party. The kid party began at 2 p.m. with wonderful water slides, games and plenty of food. But then, when the sun went down, the Crown Royal started flowing and the Newports came out. My aunties ain't changed a bit since I was a little girl. That's the kinda parties we used to have--which reminds me of a blog I did back in May of 2007...   more »

king at the box office. His new movie "Hancock" brought in $66 million after opening up last Wednesday to horrible reviews by movie critics. I wonder what Siskel and Ebert are saying now that Fresh Prince is unloading a few more million dollars into his checking account! Now that's "Big Willie Style" (I'd shoot my momma in the face and sell my son on e-Bay to be Jada right now)...   more »

must come to an end! I swear to you I had a good time in Houston visiting friends and family; and now that I'm home, I miss my beloved H-town! My husband didn't have such a good time in the Bayou City. Shawn hates the heat so that makes it a miserable place for him in July (with a heat index of 104-degrees), thus inspiring this week's Top 10 list: Top 10 reasons we can't move back to Houston. He says when he's walking around for more than five minutes, he smells like brick oven pizza, he doesn't know if he's delivery or Digiornio!   more »

the fireworks last night in downtown Houston. My momma had the great idea of going to the top of the garage where she works and letting the kids hang out up there, run around and watch the sparks light up the sky. There was loud popping that sounded like gunfire. My beloved husband smiled, looked at me and declared, "You know, there are two times a year where you can shoot your wife at point blank range and get away with it, 4th of July and New Year's Eve. With all the fireworks popping off, nobody will hear the sound of gunfire."   more »

"We're all celebrating today in our own way, some of us are bar-b-quing, others will hang out and watch fireworks--my husband would like his indepenence granted to him today--he wants to be free and single so he can hit on all the foxy chicks he's seeing in Houston. I swear, since we got here, that boy's head has been on a swivel. I was gonna get pissed, but my great grandmother Freddie dropped some knowledge on me, "Baby," she said, "he can't cheat on you, so don't worry about it! He don't make enough money to take care of a wife and a woman on the side. So let him look..."   more »

are crawling all over me." That's what my husband declared when he stepped out of the shower at my momma's house in Houston this morning. We're visiting on a shoe-string budget so we're lodging at "Momma 'Nems"! Well, momma's thread count on her towels ain't quite what we're used to, as a result, when my husband finished drying off from his shower this morning, he was filled with nappy little blue balls of thread! He was so covered in webbing, I been walking around calling him Spider Man! I had to use a lent roller on every part of his body to get them off (and I mean er'rewhere)...   more »

and marry my good girlfriend Jennifer who lives in Woodbury, MN! Girlfriend can cook better than my great grand mother and Chef Boyardee combined! Her home made macaronni and cheese is to die for and she makes the strawberry cream cheese cake so good, it makes me wanna slap the hell out of my momma! I told Shawn I'm gonna need him to leave me and marry her, so that I can have someplace to go for Sunday dinner!   more »

Hello blog readers; It's Shawn, Sheletta's husband! I'm giving her the day off since it's our anniversary. It was two years ago today that I said "I do" to someone else's soul mate (because Lord knows Sheletta isn't rightfully mine. My soul mate is somewhere making six figures with good credit and six pack abs). Our wedding was a beautiful event, except for the part in the vows where I had to recite "your people will be my people" (You guys don't know her family like I do. She's the sane one!); that spawned my first poetry moment on this website last September in a blog entitled "Your people will be my people"...   more »

Patti LaBelle, Nona and Sara are reuniting LaBelle at this year's Essence Music Festival! They'll be performing on the main stage down in the Big Easy during the July 4th weekend event! I hate I ain't got enough money to be there. This is the first time I'm gonna miss the festivities since 2000! But with ticket prices at $620 a piece, I'll be humming "Lady Marmalade" in the shower...   more »