10. If you're over 40 years old, you ought not be working the check out line at the grocery store.  I was at Cub Foods recently and I had the meanest cashier ever known to man.  When I looked up, it was a 40-something year old guy who was mad that he never got his GED; so now he's gotta try to figure out which coupons match the actual items that the customers are buying.  Child, he couldn't even tell from the photos on the coupons if it matched anything I was actually buying!  He got so frustrated, he just gave me the damn groceries and didn't charge me anything.

9.  A grown man ought not be doing nails!  When I was down in Atlanta recently, there was a guy doing manicures and pedicures.  I'm sorry, I just couldn't let him paint my toe nails and give me a French manicure on my hands.  To top things off, he was even doing eyebrow arches...

8.  I was heading to the post office the other day when I had to stop at a red light on White Bear Avenue and Old Hudson Road.  Well, on the right hand side of the street, (if you're heading south) there is a Jiffy Lube.  I glance over there at the marquee to see if they had any oil change specials and there, standing on the corner, with a sign that displayed the daily specials, was a man, who had to be in his 50s!  He was holding the sign while people drove by and hoisted it high in the air to get their attention.  He was jolly, smiling and waving--as if he had just found out that the minimum wage in Minnesota had just been raised $1!  If Andrew ever decides that he doesn't want to do his "homework" when he gets older, I'm gonna let this guy be his mentor!

7.  Andrew and I go to the Chuck E Cheese in West St. Paul sometimes when it's cold outside or raining--so he can run around and tear up something else other than my damn house!  Well, the Chuck E Cheese was walking around and handing out hugs and smiles.  He came right over to Andrew and shook his hand.  My baby was so excited that he actually got to meet Chuck E Cheese.  Well, when we got ready to go, there was a damn senior citizen standing at the door waiting on his "ride" to pick him up.  When we walked past him, he said "There's my little man!"  I grabbed my baby in fear--thinking this must be "Chester the Child Molester"--and I'm about to taser his a$$; but in actuality, it was Chuck E Cheese--minus his costume.

6.  If a man over the age of 30 is working at McDonald's, he'd better own the damn place.  Back when I was about 16 or 17 years old, I worked at McDonald's--just like every other teenager in the country.  What always troubled me was there were grown a$$ men working there who had been there since the restaurant opened, about 10 years or so, and they weren't even a lead shift manager.  These jokers were just working fries. I mean, mind you, they were the fry master--they knew everything about fries--from the correct temperatures of the grease to the proper cut of the potato.  And they had no goals of even becoming shift supervisor.  Too much responsibility!

5.  We were at the Minnesota State Fair last year and this big buff brother was working the merry-go-round at the state fair. He was the damn operator!  Childddd, I near bout died. He looked like he should be doing security for Prince & The Revolution, or Sheila E. or somebody--but he was too busy with the responsibility of a state fair ride.

4.  Unless you're Gene Anthony Ray (Leroy from Fame) a grown a$$ man ought not be teaching ballet lessons. I don't care how graceful he is!

3. No male physician should go to medical school to become a proctologist.  Just something wrong with a man going to college for 4 years to learn how to study another man's a$$!  Be a gynecologist for crying out loud!

2.  I always dreamed of a male housekeeper--one of with six pack abs and biceps that have speed bumps on them they are so chisseled.  But I can't imagine it happening in real life.  Why? Cause it could just be me, and my backward way of thinking--or my traditionalist views of the roles of men and women in the home--but I can't see a man cleaning up my house for a fee. Unless of course, he was doing it in a loin cloth and feeding me grapes at the same time while fanning me with a big palm leaf, giving me a massage and oiling down my back!

1.  Nothing says I ain't got my G.E.D. like a grown man working as a telemarketer.  That's a job that says "You know what, I couldn't even qualify for fries at McDonald's!".