Look, I only work two days a week these days.  That's versus the five I worked before Andrew was born.  And that--mind you--was before I had to buy pampers and such. And my monthly bills haven't changed.  So what's a girl to do?

I got bills to pay, pampers to buy--I gotta find some way (besides Pay Day Loans) to meet my monthly expenses!

I mean shit, I can't buy anything for myself--I just don't have the spare income these days.  I'm still wearing maternity drawers cause I ain't been able to scrape up enough green-backs to go into Victoria's Secret and get some new panties in my size. The ones I got now are so big--I pull them all the way up and they double as a bra!

It's ridiculous. I knew being a stay at home mom things would change--but DAMN--this is ridiculous!

I gotta ask Shawn "Excuse me honey, I need new panties. Can I have the credit card?" 'Cause them two nickles I bring home go right on Andrew. Y'all ain't tell me they grow out of stuff so fast!  And they need stuff all the time.  You never stop buying pampers--milk--food--whatever.

And then my momma called the other day and said "Andrew needs some Stride rites.  He ain't walking cause he don't have the right kind of shoes."

So we find a Stride rite store near our house--them damn shoes cost $50 for one pair. I looked at the shoes--looked at the cashier and walked out of there with my baby in my arms. I refused to pay $50 for a pair of shoes for a one year old. I don't even have $50 shoes--I gotta buy my $hit on sale.

And white folks was in the store buying three and four pairs of shoes--happy--wasn't even breaking a sweat.  If I bought Andrew three pair of fifty dollar shoes--I'd have to leave the car running--write a check to pay for them--grab the shoes--and make a mad dash to the door--cause I might as well be stealing them--cause damn sure ain't got enough money in the account to cover 'em.

My momma kept pressuring me--so I went back to the Stride rite store--and I let them size his feet--and we tried on the shoes--but something inside me wouldn't let me get those shoes--I just couldn't do it--so we left.

A few days later--I felt guilty--so I started thinking "How can I get $50 for these shoes for this boy?"

I went upstairs and folded some clothes--when I looked down by Shawn's bedside--I saw his "change bucket".  I opened it up and it was filled with quarters and nickles and dimes. I was so happy--you could have sworn my broke a$$ had won the lottery.  I picked Andrew up and started tossing him around and everything. 

We went to Stride rite with the bucket--my ghetto self--I ain't even go to one of those Coin Star machines so they could count the change for me. I took the whole 10-pound bucket of nickles and put it up on the counter and told the cashier, "Reach in there and take out what you need."

Man, it was so much change in there--Andrew got a new pair of shoes--new bibs, three outfits, some new sleepwear.  I bought a few groceries, got some hair gel, bought a perm and some toe nail polish. Child, I even had enough to put some gas in the car.  I thought it was Income Tax time!  It was beautiful...

But then, reality hit--and I realized my husband was going to come home from work in a few hours--he was going to empty out his pockets and throw his spare change in that bucket--and when he did--wasn't gonna be a damn thing in it--I spent everything--including the Buffalo nickle!

So I tried to cook his favorite meal--I took a bath AND brushed my teeth (that's a treat for my husband)--had Andrew looking all spiffy--hid my new panties in the BACK of the dresser drawer--and washed Andrew's new clothes so he wouldn't see the tags dangling in the closet.

He got in--put his briefcase down--kissed his son and walked upstairs.  I waited with my teeth grinding--scared as hell--that I'd catch a whippin' for stealing my husband's change.  I put on my shoes in case I had to make a mad dash out of the house and run away from the heat that was about to be on my neck--

Shawn went upstairs to take off his suit and put on some comfortable clothes.  That's when I heard Shawn call downstairs.... "Hey baby," he yelled, "change bucket is kinda light, ain't it?"