We just got home--celebrated Andrew's first birthday with the out-laws in Warren, Ohio--and let me tell you--we had a grand old ghetto time! Shawn's cousins from Cleveland came through bearing gifts like the three wise men (instead it was three thick sisters)...   more »

with the WWAD--the White Woman Anti Drug--'cause the white women in Minnesota are after him. And Andrew needs one too--little OJ Simpson is kissing white women in the mouf--I don't know what it is about Minnesota--but something in the air forces brothers to want the women with the milky skin!   more »

'cause my credit is so bad--if somebody DID steal it--they'd be doing me a favor! The only thing they'd get is high interest rates and the need for a co-signer. I often leave my driver license sitting on the dashboard of my car with the widows rolled down--with a flashlight on--it seems that even the crack heads know--cause ain't nobody took me up on my offer!   more »

by the hour--not the customer! You gotta remember that when you get jacked up servicel ike I did at the resale shop the other day. Cashier was on the phone with her boyfriend while me and three other ladies waited to make purchases--after fifteen minutes--we all shot her the finger and left!   more »

I get an e-mail today from my homegirl Kim in Atlanta--she done came up with a damn song--a nursery rhyme in fact--to embarass me about the fact that I did not recognize my baby boy in a Target advertisement photograph. OK, I thought it was him--but it was another black baby--I know I'm his momma--but damn, give a sister a break!   more »

I looked for my momma for three hours yesterday--calling--paging--sending text messages--couldn't find her. Finally--in the afternoon--she returned my call and said she was just getting home from a funeral. "Didn't it start around 9 in the morning?" I asked. "Yeah," she replied, "but it was a two part service--and lasted through lunch."   more »

I had an entirely different post up this morning--about identity theft--but I knew if I ain't tell it on myself--somebody was going to--and I ain't want y'all to hear the dirty truth from nobody else but ME! I'm shame for what I did--and I feel like less of a momma for doing so--but hey--everybody makes mistakes.   more »

but they won't let me go--I think it's cause I'm black! I should call Al Sharpton--cause this ain't fair. I routinely come to work late--leave early--steal supplies--use the computer for personal reasons--and bring my child up to the job with me. All these things are clear violations of my contract--but alas--I'm still gainfully employed. I feel like I'm being discriminated against cause I'm the only black employee they got!   more »

I need a few cronies! That's what got Scooter Libby out of jail... being best friends with George Bush. Which I don't understand cause when Bush was governor of my home state of Texas--he was frying death row inmates left and right--he ain't have no sympathy for nobody. Bush told one lady who was sentenced to die: "Well, you know Jesus--get ready to meet him personally".   more »

that's the question my momma asked me when she called a few weeks ago and Shawn was out at the bar with a few of his buddies. My momma was like "I don't let your daddy have friends... he don't need friends... I'm his friend!" Which would explain my father's fascination with anything my momma DOES NOT enjoy doing--like hunting, fishing and sleeping in the woods.   more »

My good friend from ATL Kimmy and I were talking the other day and we both wanted to know "What ever happened to the neighborhood candy lady?" Y'all know who I'm talking about--that was the older woman who lived in the projects--she supplemented her income by selling cool-cups, moon cookies and pickles! I guess Sam's Club done put her out of business!   more »

I remember when I was pregnant--all I wanted to wear was one of those good old-fashioned house gowns. You remember them? Down south, we call 'em "dusters"... Well, these Yankees in Minny ain't have NO idea what I was talkin' bout when I went to Target looking for one. Took me damn near my entire 9-months of pregnancy to find it at K-Mart--and by then--I ain't even want it no more.   more »

there is nothing on television. Even religious programming is bad! I was up this morning with my little Andrew--flicking the channel--searching for something to watch to put us both to sleep. I figured I needed a little Jesus in my life--so I put it on the Christian channel. WRONG! The preaching was so bad I would have been better watching a Jack Lelane infomercial for a juicer or one of those 30 minute Proactiv ads.   more »

with my momma's Andrew--cause that'll get you cussed out and possibly cut--depending on how far you take it! This woman at the grocery store decided to compare her grand daughter with Andrew--saying her baby did "this and that"--stuff Andrew ain't accomplished yet. When my momma told her Andrew hadn't advanced to that level--she called him "lazy". That's when my momma had a "Mrs. Sophia" moment...   more »

that's who I wound up hanging with at Essence in New Orleans last week. My sister-in-law April and my best friend (Chris)'s wife Amber are the whitest black girls I know. But I ain't find that out until it was too late. I felt like I was hanging with Jan and Marsha Brady--and you know me--I'm more like Thelma Evans--and that ain't mix too well...   more »

That's what my friend Chris calls his Coach bag! Negro please, that's a man purse. I had to watch him when we went to New Orleans recently--he don't even know--with that old punky purse--he's a target for the extra sexy dudes with the low button pink linen shirts. He might as well have a bulls eye on his back.   more »

OK, OK, I know I've been gone long enough--but a sister had to get back down south to conect with her 'roots'! While I enjoyed family--ain't no place like home--I'm back today--but I need to unpack--so enjoy the last of The Best of Sheletta.com with one of Dawn Kinder's favorite blogs about my motto when it comes to "finding things" in the store.   more »

Now I never confessed to be a saint--there are some things I've done that I'm not very proud of--like the time I applied for and received a FEMA check. I pretended to be a Hurricane Katrina evacuee--and my father--being the loving, caring and nosey a$$ man that he is--wound up saving me from pending jail time.   more »

but I need y'all to help me with something. I'm torn about whether or not to speak with my husband about his neck being on a "swivel"... we went to New Orleans and that negro was scoping out women so hard--one time I caught him looking and his mouth was open (I could swear I saw slobber dripping). I'm trying to figure out should I say something or should I give him a pass... YOU MAKE THE CALL!   more »

While I'm on vacation--enjoy this story I posted back in February when I treid to donate all my too-small clothing to a battered women's shelter. Now--don't get me wrong--I don't advocate violence against anyone--but after dealing with some of them heffas--I understand why they wound up in their current situation. Enjoy...   more »

There are some things you need near your job--like a FedEx Kinko's in case the copy machine breaks down. Or a UPS store so you can get those packages out at the last minute when you're finished with that big powerpoint presentation. But Lawd knows--you don't need a Popeye's Chicken near your job! Why? Cause your employer doesn't need the extra expense of getting a plumber out to clear the drain of chicken bones.   more »

People ask me all the time if it's true--if I literally DO NOT ALLOW WOMEN TO USE THE RESTROOM AT MY HOUSE. The answer in a nutshell: YES! My husband loves women too much--and the thought of some woman in his house with no panties on is too much temptation--so everybody must either pee before they leave the house--or use the "filling station" up the road.   more »

While I'm gone don't even try to break in my house--y'all know I'm on vacation--and I'm hoping don't nobody waste their time trying to get into the crib--cause ain't nothing in there worth stealing. All you gonna get is some bad lunch meat and some left overs we forgot to throw away. In the meantime, enjoy the best of the blog--with this story about the day I broke into Harpo studios to meet my hero--Oprah!   more »

Child--we think we're grown. I'm on vacation and ain't thinking about putting finger to keyboard in order to blog--there is enough funny stuff on this website that I can recycle and still keep y'all laughing. Like this funny story that Shawn told when he tried to wake me up in the middle of the night to tend to Andrew--it ain't go quite the way he wanted!   more »

While I soak up some son in Tejas--enjoy one of my favorite blogs about the day I got beat up in elementary school by a cripple girl with one leg. She took the 'good' foot she had and shoved it all the way up my.... well, read the story and find out how it ends.   more »

I got enough stuff to keep y'all in stitches until I come off vacation--'cause Lawd knows I need a break from the baby and the blog. So enjoy this post from March about what happened when I went into an upscale Minneapolis salon without checking to see how much their services were. Happy 4th of July (and happy birthday Aunt Linda)!   more »

I'm on vacation, and enjoying not having to change any pampers--Andrew is with my momma in Houston and I ain't even gonna look at no computer. So enjoy this post from February about my experience with a ghetto receptionist who was out of this world--I mean--out of the porjects.   more »

City Pages--the weekly entertainment newspaper that serves Minneapolis and Saint Paul did an article on your girl--and the new CrossRoads program on KSTC TV. They said I was "Easy like Sunday Mornin'"... my husband would tend to disagree.   more »

MsHale, a newspaper that covers the immigrant population called me recently about doing an interview on the CrossRoads program. With us reaching out to the African, Asian and Latino population--they wanted to make sure their readers knew that the program provided them an opportunity to get their voices heard.   more »

When white folks invite you over to their house for dinner BEWARE! I think they are trying to kill us--so they will be able to take over as the "majority" again. I'm telling y'all, when my webmaster invited me over recently, I should have seen the handwriting on the wall. I'm surprised me and my family made it out of there alive.   more »

I know I'm 'posed to be on vacation--but today is my anniversary--and y'all know what that means: I GET TO "DO IT" with my husband. Since we had Andrew--it's like paying bills--first of the month and that's it. But I can honestly say--this year--being married to Shawn--has been the BEST year of my life.   more »