I don't know where I'd be without my cousins.  MeMe, Demond, KeKe, Nikki, William, DeMarquis--they are like brothers and sisters to me. We were raised tight--all the cousins--we played together, slept together--vacationed together. We went to the same school--we was tighter than panty hoses two sizes small!

There was never a shortage of chil'len to play with--no matter where I went--a cousin was somewhere nearby. I was never alone, never without a play mate or some company coming over--cause there were so many cousins around--I ain't even have time to make friends--my cousins were my friends--and they still are today.

How do you think I learned how to cuss so good? Hotwire a car? Stalk a man? Steal? Cheat? Roll a good joint? (I don't do that no more since I found Jesus--Amen.  But all these are skills any project girl should have growing up; don't you think?)  My cousins taught me.  They were there for me through thick and thin. If I broke one of my momma's crystal vases--who do you think helped me glue it back together?  If I needed to sneak a boy in the house past curfew--who was my look out?  When I needed to skip school to be the first person in line to buy Michael Jackson's Thriller album at Soundwaves--who helped me roll up all my nickles so that I could afford the cassett? That's right--there is one answer to all those questions: MY COUSINS!

My poor son--Shawn got us up here in cold a$$ Minnesota--2,000 miles away from the nearest relative--and all my baby knows is me and his daddy.  Poor little Andrew doesn't think there is a world outside our house.  Cause when it's bone chillin' cold (which is 75% of the time here) we don't go outside--or interact with people. And if we do go out--we're making a mad dash from the car to the grocery store--then back out again.  And he's covered up with a thick military blanket the whole time.

Now that it's starting to warm up--Andrew and I are getting out more--and I can see that my baby is longing to be around other kids!  We were at a story time today and when we walked in the room and saw all those chil'len--he just started screaming and clapping and dancing--his eyes widened as if to say "Momma--I've found me somebody to play with."  He was crawling to the other kids--kissing all the little girls in the mouth--trying to out-talk the lady reading the book. Oh man, he had a good ole' time!  When we left he was worn out--fell asleep on the way home in the car!

He got 'bout fifty-leven cousins in Houston--and I gotta get my baby there so he can have some family around him.  Y'all remember back in the day--your cousins wouldn't let NATHAN happen to you. Even if somebody did threaten you--your comeback was "I'm going to get my cousin on you!" Cause you knew somebody had your back!

Poor Andrew--when he gets to school--if somebody wanna fight--he better have mad squabbles or know how to run real good.  Cause by the time his cousins travel 2,000 miles to have his back--his black eye will have healed.

I know--you think the answer to this dillema is to have another child--but I ain't far enough removed from the labor pains that I forgotten what it felt like to have given birth to an 18-wheeler (cause that's what it felt like to me--like I was delivering a truck right through my butt)!  Adoption is out of the question--I don't want no foster kids--so the solution to our play mate situation is to pack up like the Beverly Hillbillies and move back down south where Andrew got some cousins, some grandparents, some aunties and a real ghetto uncle! 

I mean--if he ain't got no relationship with his Uncle Red--who else is gonna take my baby to get his first tattoo at 16 years old? And you know my brother can't spell--so instead of saying "Thug Life" on his stomach--it'll say "Tug Life"--they gonna think my baby done been in the Navy.