I had never worried about putting my wishes down on paper before--but with the birth of our son--Shawn and I know that we needed to do something right away--because if anything happens to us, we want Andrew to be taken care of.

So we got good life insurance policies (I'm worth about 1000% more dead than I am alive. I'm bout to kill myself and collect the money)--and we're working out the particulars for our will.

I told Shawn that I wanted to be cremated and if I'm brain dead, don't worry about pulling the plug. I don't wanna even linger in a coma. I told him "Look dude, God came down and got up Jesus and brought Him back to life after being dead for three days.  Leave me there for 3 days--in a coma--on machines--on whatever--after three days, pull the plug."

"Cool!" Shawn said, rubbing his hands together as if he had won the lottery, "We'll call that the Jesus Resurrection Plan. If you ain't up in three days--you get to meet Him personally!"

I was gonna get mad at my husband--but I was too busy laughing at him cause he's so silly!

So we got everything down on paper and then the big question came up "What are we gonna do with Andrew?"

I felt like I couldn't say "Well, he needs to go to my momma if we die." because Shawn has parents too and they would be left out.  Besides, all four of 'em are too old to be trying to raise a little boy. By the time Andrew is 10, my mother in law would be 145 years old!  And when he turns 15, my own dad would be grandfathered into the AARP Gold Member Club!  No way they could keep up with a teen-aged boy!

So Shawn thought about his brother--and they would be wonderful--Todd and his wife April are good people.  But he has another brother too, Mark and his wife Christine are wonderful folks!  So are we saying one brother would be better than the other?

After hours of going around in circles, we decided we'd will Andrew to his God-parents.  That's why you pick God parents, right? To have someone for your children to be raised by in case something happens to you!  We agreed. God parents are wonderful folks. Couple who would provide a loving Christian home for our son. And that was important too--a couple who were grounded and rooted in the principles of Jesus--

Then Shawn looked at me and said "Well, you gotta tell your momma..."

I was like "Oh hell no. You do it. You're the head of our household."

"Not today I'm not." He informed me, "That's your crazy a$$ momma!"

So I reluctantly called my momma and I tried to start off cool like "Hey momma, just wanted to let you know that me and Shawn are doing our wills and there are some things I want you to know about.  I don't wanna be buried and stuff, I want to be cremated--and I don't want to be hooked up to a machine if I'm clinging to life--just let me die."

"Whatever you want Sheletta." She said calmly, "That's your decision to make."

"And one more thing," I took a deep breath before continuing, "we're gonna will Andrew to his god-parents in the event that anything happens to both me and Shawn."

My momma snapped: "Don't call here with that bull$hit Sheletta!  You know if something happens to you--I am going to get that baby.  I will sue your a$$ in the grave for that boy.  You must be off your medication."

"No momma, I'm not." I told her, trying to stand firm, "we picked good God fearing Godparents so that Andrew would be provided with a loving--"

"Bull$hit" she kept saying, "Andrew got grandparents. I'm his grand momma!"

"Well what about his other grand momma?"

"That woman is on oxygen and old! Besides, the girls' mother comes first. Everybody knows that."

Then she had a suggestion: "Shawn's momma could take him for six months and I could take him the other six."

"So each year he'd change schools and states, right? That provides no stability."

We went around and around in circles and got no where except frustrated. So needless to say, if Shawn and I do any traveling in planes, we'll be going on separate airlines!  That way if one plane goes down, then one of us will still be alive!