OK, y'all know I grew up in Texas and it never snowed. I thought it snowed once when I was in second grade--but my dad informed me a few weeks ago that was actually hail! So until my husband moved us to Minnesota--I had never seen snow except in a cup with strawberry syrup poured on top of it. And although I've been here for three years now, snow still freaks me out.
This weekend we were under a winter storm advisory--that means we got about 10 inches of the frosty stuff in about 30 minutes. It was just crazy! Of course, I went to the grocery store and stocked up on water, canned goods and pampers like we were gonna be hunkered down for hibernation until Easter. But white folks don't stop living cause it's snowing outside--baby they are out doing everything from shopping to cross country skiing. Thus, the inspiration for this week's Top 10:
Top 10 Things White People Do During Snow Storms
10. Cross Country skiing and downhill skiing.
9. Sliding downhill. They actually charge money to do that.
8. Snow shoe--where they walk in real big shoes on top of the snow (I hear that's fun!)
7. Make snow angels--where they go outside and lay down on the ground in the cold and wet snow and swing their arms back and forth.
6. Drive like $hit--cause in the middle of a blizzard--they're going to the hair dresser to get a color, cut and perm!
5. Walk their dogs. Actually, literally, I saw 'em, they were walking the dog and actually picking up the poop. If it was my pooch, "Fluffy" would have kidney stones and a bladder infection--cause I would surely not be outside helping him to relieve himself. He'd have to hold it until the first thaw!
4. If I hadn't seen this with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it--one man was out jogging. It's 5 degrees outside and the forecasters were predicting 10 inches of snow--and there was a man jogging--I mean he was running--as if it wasn't a blizzard breathing down his neck.
3. Ice fishing where they sit on a frozen lake, drill a hole in the ice and wait to catch fish. Mind you, a lake is never a safe place to be--so there are at least 10 fishermen that fall to the bottom of Lake Minnetonka every year. Black folks would never go on frozen water.
2. Snow mobiling--they buy these ATVs, but they have a track on 'em and they ride on 'em in the snow. That kills about two white folks every year too. On snow mobiles, they also water skip--so if they are on the lake--and there is an open patch of water--they go fast enough to make it across to the other side. That's supposed to be fun as well...
1. Show up at work. If it's snowing--best believe I ain't clocking in on NOBODY's time clock. I'll be at home and if I can't work from home--the job won't get done!
UPDATE: This morning at 6:00 a.m., I turned on the local news in Minneapolis (KSTP TV) and saw this story:
Two men are recovering after one of them fell through the ice while snowmobiling near Coon Lake Beach.
The two men were traveling west on a shallow area of the lake. One man fell through the ice. The other man was able to reach the shore safely.
Anoka County Sheriff’s Department responded at 3:38 p.m. and was able to help the 34-year-old victim out of the water.
The man was in the water for approximately 25 minutes. He was conscious and alert when he was airlifted to North Memorial Medical Center. The victim was treated for hypothermia.
