10.  Prince was a grown a$$ man, but he was living at home in his momma and daddy's basement.  Anybody bold enough to wear lace gloves and ruffle shirts and pants that button down the sides of his legs ought to be grown enough to afford to get his own place.

9.  I've searched the world, and even in Minneapolis, motorcycles don't come in purple. 

8.  And speaking of lace, grown men ought not be wearing lace gloves and ruffle shirts, especially in Minneapolis in the winter time. It was cold as hell outside during the movie!  This is the coldest place in the world to live, and he was able to ride around on a motorcycle as his primary mode of transportation wearing lace gloves--and he never got frost bite.  Knowing the winters in Minneapolis are consistently -20 degrees!  He should have had to get his fingers amputated by the end of the movie if that were really the case!  I went to take the trash out this past winter, with work gloves on--and by the time I got back in the house--my fingers were purple... so I know damn well that he ain't survive in Minneapolis during the winter wearing no lace gloves...

7.  Every body in the movie had either a dark and lovely perm or a jerry curl, even white folks.  "Big fluffy hair" was the order of the day.  Prince's $hit was feathered and so was Morris Day's!  They both looked like Farah Fawcett from Charlie's Angels!

6.  Y'all remember that part in the movie where Appolonia pawned that bracelet and bought a guitar for Prince? I need to find out what Pawn Shop she went to!  Cause ain't no where in the world you can pawn a bracelet and get enough money for a fancy guitar like that!  And why was she buying him a guitar anyway when she was homeless? She should have taken that money and put a downpayment on a one bedroom or studio apartment somewhere. But instead of doing that, she's living in a hotel, dancing on poles and spending her last nickle on a guitar for her boyfriend.  Mind you, he thanks her by slapping her a$$!  She should have took that guitar and went upside his head with it!

5.  I don't care if he does wear girly boots and blouses, grown a$$ man ought not play with puppets. Prince sat there during the movie playing with toys that are too feminine for my little son Andrew to play with.  That's just wrong--wrong on so many levels!

4.  How did Appolonia walk around the streets of the Twin Cities in panties and a bra and nobody arrest her for indecent exposure?

3.  And speaking of Appolonia, how did she get that role with no singing abilities and no dancing abilities and even less acting ability? Where the hell was Vanity in all this? She should have been the leading lady!  Oh, I almost forgot, she was caught up with Carl Weathers, starring in those (horrible) Action Jackson movies!

2.  Why is it that when Appolonia and Prince were kissing in the movie I felt like I was watching some bad gay lesbian love porn? I wanted to call my Uncle Kathy and tell her to tune in.  It looked like two women were getting it on--Prince all cute and pretty--Appolonia all cute and pretty--I couldn't tell who the man was until I looked at his Adam's Apple--and even then, hers was about 2 centimeters larger in diameter.

1.  OK, this is when I knew that Purple Rain was a work of true fiction!  Prince's daddy, a black man, regularly and routinely beat up his momma, a white woman... but somehow, he NEVER went to jail for doing so!  There ain't no way on God's green earth that a brother is gonna put his hands on a white woman and not get put in jail and have the key thrown away.  OJ Simpson was the first, last and only black man to get away with some $hit like that!