OK, so y'all know I do the CrossRoads television program on KSTC TV every Sunday on Channel 45 in St. Paul.  I love the show, it's dedicated to people of color and talk about issues important to "our" community. Ain't nobody in the Twin Cities more colored than I am--so that doubly qualifies me to do the show!

Sometimes, some of my favorite guests are on C.P.T. time and they show up late.  I always tell folks to be there 15 minutes early, but for some people that ain't enough time.

So this past week, I'm sitting there, waiting for my boy Franklin from Big Brother Big Sister to come on the show to talk about the Barber Shop Challenge that we're promoting.  We're sitting around--waiting--sitting around--waiting--but Franklin never shows up.  I know he's supposed to be bringing a barber with him, some guy they've affectionately nicknamed "Preacher". 

I decided to just walk outside the studio and go outside and look for them both. Now, I know what Franklin looks like, big brother who could be the second cousin to Rubin Studdard from American Idol fame.  But this "Preacher" guy I've never seen before.  So I'm walking around all pretty, make up tight, hair curled just right, eyebrows arched and wearing a brand new sundress that makes my stomach look flat, my butt look big and my breasts look one size bigger than a training bra--so I think I'm looking good!

But I'm pissed--so I jump up from the set like "Where are these folks? I need them to get up in here so I can finish the show and get home.  We have an appointment..." So I'm going off and fussing at the air cause ain't nobody in there but me and the camera guys who are all laughing at me...

I go over to the double doors, open them up and on the other side of the doors stands the most handsome man I've ever seen in my life. I mean he was so fine, he made me forget I was mad. Hell, not only did I forget I was mad, I forgot my own name...

I shook his hand and said "Oh hey, I'm glad you're here.  Come on in and let's talk..."  Y'all, I ain't let the man go. I held his hand and dragged him over to the interview set.  I put on his microphone and gazed lovingly into his eyes. At that moment, I was ready to leave my husband and son, and convert from Baptist to Catholic if I needed to. 

The camera guys in the studio had to snap their fingers and remind me that I was indeed married, happily--and needed to keep my husband so I can have somewhere to live (cause my a$$ ain't working no more--so that means I'm on a fixed income of ZERO) and someone to give me money for food and gas!  The director yelled in my IFB ear piece "Sheletta, let it go.  I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't worth it.  You're practically falling over yourself."

And y'all, that ain't like me. But this man was so fine, I got lost!  I took my wedding ring off and swallowed it.  I was so nervous I was stuttering and twitching.  He had me spent... I looked like I was having a seizure!

Now, I'm thinking this is the guy "Preacher" for the Big Brother Big Sister interview, right! WRONG!  I started asking him about what barbershop he worked at and how he got involved in the volunteer project.  Child, I was too shame when he said "Umh, Sheletta, I'm Michael Davis, the first black police chief in Brooklyn Park."  You talk about ashamed.  I hadn't been that embarrassed since I got beat up in third grade by a cripple girl with one leg!

I had to apologize and tell him I was so sorry--but we had been taping three shows, this was the last one and I was waiting on a guest and I assumed he was the guy we were waiting on that I hadn't met yet.  He was cool with it, but I saw him quietly place his hand on his pistol.  He did a good thing, cause it was gonna take a round of bullets to keep me off of him--he was THAT fine!  He was so scared, he thought at any moment, I was going to lunge on him and just steal me a kiss--take me some sugar--bite his ear lobe or something. Y'all, I'm telling you, I was THAT close--I completely lost it!  When I heard him click the trigger and take the safety off his department issued weapon, I backed off--stayed in my seat and behaved myself for the rest of the interview!  I figured if I didn't "act right" he'd either shoot my black a$$ or taser me.

He called S.W.A.T. for back up so he could be rescued peacefully, the hostage negotiator came and talked me down; which is a good thing!  Because I was thinking of taking him hostage--rolling him up in some duct tape and putting him in my trunk--bringing him home and just looking at him all day. The damn man was THAT handsome!

After the segment was over, I called Shawn and told him "Hey, I tell you what, if another bridge collapses in Minneapolis and you're on it--don't try to save yourself--go down in the rubble 'cause I've already found your replacement.  Die peacefully and allow me to be happy with my new husband and Andrew's new father."