I knew that our decision to become parents came with sacrifices, and I was confident the family could deal with all of the adversity that life could throw at us. Since the birth of our beloved Drew, Sheletta and I have given up quite a bit. We’ve both given up a portion of our “disposable income” when we made the decision for Sheletta to be a full time mother. So we made the adjustment in our finances and cut back on some of life’s “niceties”. I’ve even accepted the fact that our new lifestyle would change the frequency of our “conjugal visits.”

I can’t tell you the last time we got our “freak on”!!! Don’t get me wrong….. The spirit is willing, but if Sheletta ain’t tired from chasing Drew all day long, then I’m tired from pulling “The Man’s” foot out of my neck on the job. On those occasions that we can enjoy a nice bump and grind, we have to look past the fact that I’m not “in shape” like I used to be. I’m sportin’ a nice rotund pot belly which is a direct result of “Good Living” and light physical activity. I like to call it a Stomach of Comfort cause we eatin’ good ‘round here. I’ve still got broad shoulders, but I’ve got hair growing down my spine between my shoulder blades and it is long enough for cornrows or dookie braids. I’m sorry, but I just can’t fix my mouth to say, “Honey, can you help me shave my back?”

As bad as I’ve got it, Sheletta has it just as bad if not worse. She’s so busy with Drew during the day that she sometimes doesn’t get to brush, floss, or bathe until after I get home. Most of the time, she’s just barely able to feed herself, and even then it is just a snack. She drags her tired behind to bed most nights with her hair all over her head, bags under her eyes, stinky breath, and a burlap nightgown.

So here we lay, a pot belly, hairy back, breaf stinkin’ burlap sack. Not exactly the picture of “sexy” that turns one on, but again the spirit is willing. “Are we making love tonight?” Nawww, not really in the mood. Let’s just spoon for a few minutes and go to sleep.

But once every two weeks, there is a “planetary alignment” when all of the distractions are minimized. We both show up at bedtime nicely groomed, smelling good, fresh permed hairdo, soft feet, and an urge for intimacy. Yeah, daddy gon’ get some tonight!!! I snuggle up to her and do my best “Jiminy Cricket” cause I’m rubbing my legs together and getting’ my chirp on (Bbppp, Bbppp). Sheletta looks at me and says, “Boy, you better go to sleep. I just got my hair done and you ain’t messin’ it up. If you wanted to Make Love you should have caught me last night when my hair was nappy. This hairdo cost me $60 and needs to last at least 5 days, so get your head together.”

So here I am hot, horny, hard, and longing for the days of the Outside Woman, ‘cause the cute hottie now has a different agenda since becoming the wifey. I guess I’ll unbraid my back hair and eat a late night snack.