My girlfriend Bereatha called the other day from Brookdale Mall and asked me what I was buying Shawn for Christmas. She was shopping for her boyfriend James and wanted some gift ideas.
When I told her Shawn wasn’t getting anything, she nearly flipped her lid — girlfriend went off on me. “As much as Shawn does for you and his family, all the sacrifices he makes, I can’t believe you ain’t getting him nothing for Christmas.”
“I ain’t saying he ain’t a good man,” I said, trying to defend myself. “It’s just that—”
She quickly cut me off: “I’m calling your momma! I’m gonna tell on you.”
“I ain’t five years old,” I quipped back. “I don’t care about you tattling to my momma. But — please don’t call her…”
Truth be told, my momma is mean as a two-headed snake, and Lawd knows you don’t want to cross her or get on her bad side. But my plea fell on deaf ears, ’cause two minutes later my momma was blowing up the cell phone. “Sheletta, have you lost your damn mind?” she yelled in my ear.
“Hello, Mother,” I responded sweetly in an effort to diffuse the situation. “It’s good to hear from you.”
“I just heard that you ain’t buying nothing for Shawn for Christmas. That’d better be a lie and vicious rumor, ’cause if it’s true, I’m gonna walk up to
“Momma, I thought you gave up cursing.”
“I gave up drinking, too, but you are going to make me pick up a bottle of Crown and go back to my old ways.” She gradually calmed down and offered to help. “If you need some money…”
“No, I don’t need any money. Andrew ain’t getting nothing either,” I smarted off.
“Now I know you’re crazy. Have you taken your medicine today? Did your brain get frostbite in all that snow?”
“Momma, Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, and He’s the only one in our house that gets celebrated. When it’s Shawn’s birthday, I’ll get him something. When it’s Andrew’s birthday, he’ll get something. But Christmas is Jesus’ birthday!”
I thought I was making perfect sense, but Momma wasn’t really hearing me. “Don’t try to get all religious on me!” she snapped before hanging up in my face. (Momma is off the hook, ain’t she?)
Too many times — especially us Black folks — we go into debt trying to buy gifts for our friends and family that we know we can’t afford. We get to the mall at six in the morning the day after Thanksgiving and spend up both our December payroll checks on Nintendo Wiis, Fisher Price play sets, diamond jewelry and electronics. Then, when January rolls around, we’re eating fried bologna sandwiches until our income tax checks come in!
Y’all know that ain’t right! We gotta do better, ’cause we know better. It’s all a scheme by “The Man” to keep us from remembering the true meaning of CHRISTmas.
I watched a football game with my husband Sunday, and before the first quarter was over, I saw at least 20 Kay Jeweler commercials — and the little White ladies were so happy to get that $199 diamond pendant. They are pumping out images of happiness found in material things when we all know that true joy comes from the Lord.
Don’t get sucked in from the advertisers, ’cause after you buy all those gifts, all you got left is a busted bank account and not even enough to put $5 in the offering plate at church.
A funny thing happened yesterday when the mail lady passed by: I had a special delivery box. My momma had gone out and bought Christmas gifts for Shawn and Andrew, had them wrapped, and put my name on them as if they were from me.
