OK so a couple years ago when Shawn and I got married, my best friend Chris flew in from Houston to be one of the ushers at our wedding.  When Chris got here, we realized something was wrong. Bruh man was limping and walking with a cane.  He explained to us that he had "gout" and that his foot was in extreme pain.  I'm talking it was so bad, the doctors told him that he shouldn't be traveling!  But he ain't wanna disappoint us, plus that, my momma refused to allow anyone to walk her down the aisle as "mother of the bride" except Chris!

So he took his mind off the pain (somehow) and hobbled through his duties.  My grandmother asked "What's wrong with the boy? He got a club foot or something?"

"Oh, no." I told her, "He has the gout."

"Oh, the gouch ain't nothing major." she responded, "I had the gouch before and it went away."

"Grandmother," I tried correcting her, "it's the gout, not the gouch."

"I know damn well what it is. I done had it. It's the gouch."

So I joked with Christopher when the wedding was over that when my son grew up, I'd teach him to call him "Uncle Gouchy"!  And true to form, at two years old, when Andrew sees Chris' photograph, he calls him "Uncle Gouchy" or "Uncle G".  Chris has threatened to disown me and cut Andrew out of his will if I don't clean this situation up before my son reaches puberty; so I'd better get it straight...

In the meantime, my girlfriend Veronica is dating Maurice Cheeks, NBA legend and the head coach of the Philly 76ers.  She told me about Mo being the new spokesman for something called the Gout Information Society.  I ain't know there was such a damn thing.  And to top things off, there was a freaking Gout Awareness Day.  I called Chris and he was like "Man, I should have taken the day off.  I'm being honored today."

So, in honor of "Uncle Gouchy" we set up an interview with Mo to talk about his gout and the "crusade" he's on to help educate folks about the condition.

The funny thing is, my country a$$ was in the interview calling it "The Gout" when it's just "gout".  All the physicians, producers and camera men were in the studio listening to my ghetto self trying to conduct this interview--the whole while saying "the gout" instead of "gout"!  Child, Veronica called me after it was all over and said "Girl, Maurice called and ask me 'Where in the hell did you get her from?'"

According to Veronica, they laughed at my a$$ all morning long cause I called it "the gout"!  She said they were walking around the studio all day long saying "Who got the gout?" "Do you have the gout?" "I got the gout!"