Let me tell y'all something, white mommas are the most prepared group of people I've ever seen before in my entire life.

I'm in a play group on Thursdays (we started going back to "play groups" after the snow melted and winter ceased to exist--we joined in January and ain't been since the temps dipped below freezing), and of course, being in Minnesota, I'm the only black one in the crew--cause black women are working--they ain't got no time to play!

When we first get into class, all the moms take off their kids' coats and hang up their diaper bags on the coat rack.  Now, our diaper bag has been through the storm. I've had it since Andrew was born--someone bought it for me--and it's held up under pressure. I mean, the zipper is broken and the handle came off, but other than that--it holds the diapers--and that's all that matters.  I looked on the coat rack and all the other moms had designer diaper bags that double as hand bags.  One was so nice, I could have taken it to church--it had rhinestones on it and er'rething.

After class, one of the mothers had the brilliant idea to go out to lunch. I was like "Oh, I'm out of pampers, I only brought enough for Andrew while we were in class and since he had a 'special delivery', I'd better get home."

"Oh no problem," one of the moms told me, "I've got enough for me and you!"  Girlfriend opened her diaper bag and it looked like the damn baby aisle at Target.  She had wipes, pampers, snacks, blankets, extra clothing.  Hell, she had everything in that thing except an extra damn baby!

So we get over to the restaurant, and we all sit down at the table... I got Andrew some little Cheeze Its and Vanilla wafers.  The white women in my play group had organic dried fruit and 100% juices--we were drinking Kool Aide (also known as Dye-Sugar Water)!  When I got ready to pull Andrew up to the table and feed him, I wiped off his little area with a Clorox wipe and laid down a napkin--the other mommas had plastic place mats with suctions on them--in all kinds of designs--and they put their kids' food on that!

I was like "Man, these white mommas are going to make me go to Babies R Us and spend money I don't have. Then I gotta go to the Whole Foods Store and get organic snacks and stop feeding my son Cheetos."

On the ride home from lunch I was feeling all inadequate--I called my girlfriend Tamara whose son Lincoln is a few months younger than Andrew.  She was like "Girl, those white mommas are gonna make us mind. We gotta step our game up to hang with them."

"You're right!" I agreed, "Cause everybody else in my play group is driving a Porche Cheyenne. I'm pulling up in a Nissan Sentra-and it's dirty. Hell, I ain't have time to take a bath this morning, so you KNOW I ain't had time to get by the car wash."

"Well girl, don't feel like the lone stranger," Tam said in a comforting voice, "I went to lunch with this white momma in my gym class and forgot all Lincoln's snacks.  She had to let me borrow some snacks to feed my baby. That's a shame.  Then I had to use some of her wipes to clean him up!  'Cause I left my towels at home too."